Q & A : Putting On the Pretense

What is the most pretentious thing you own?

Valerie Wildman, actress:

“I (have) a four-wheel-drive Ford Explorer. I think the image I have of myself and the image I guess I want other people to have of me is that I’m a down-to-earth, want-to-feel-the-pain kind of person, like back when I was in the Peace Corps. I got (the Explorer) thinking that it would help counteract the fact that I look like and play these rich, bitchy women.

“I’m the opposite; I’m a hippie at heart. I thought buying this car would announce that, but I called my insurance agent and found out every yuppie in the world has registered a Ford Explorer as (his) second car. I have never put it in four-wheel drive. I’m not really even sure how to put it in four-wheel drive. What do you need a four-wheel-drive car for in Los Angeles? But I keep looking at it, thinking maybe, one day, I’ll go camping.”

Nelson Bennett, senior vice president of Inner City Cinemas:

“Probably the most pretentious thing I own is my samurai sword collection that dates from the 17th Century. I’ve been a student of Japanese culture for more than half my life, and the swords--which hang in a prominent place in my home--are the first thing people notice when they visit me. I like it that they stimulate discussion and are thought-provoking.”

Ron Link, director of “Melody Jones” at the Cast Theatre:

“I have an Art Deco Baccarat crucifix that I got years ago in France. To me it’s one of the more pretentious things in the house. It’s an anachronism, that it’s a designer crucifix. People who come over always covet it. They admire it, but then their eyes might cast downward, like they’re thinking, ‘Hmmm, uh-huh.’ It’s a foot high, it sits right in the living room. But at least it’s not on the TV set.”

Gregory Poe, fashion designer:

“I realized that the most pretentious thing is me. All I do is wander from room to room rearranging the art and listening to the Jackie Gleason Orchestra. And I sit around and wait for guests that I never invited over in the first place. It’s my life. That’s me.”

Stephanie Haymes, co-owner of Cicada restaurant.

“I have a 1992 four-door black Lexus, and I feel pretentious driving it. It’s a flashy car. It was a gift from a friend, and before this I owned an Mazda MX-6 Turbo. That was flashy too, but not in the same sense as this. Yes, there’s a car phone that came with it, and I use it to call the restaurant. But when I do, I can’t even look at the person in the car next to me. It’s very cool; it’s a great car, especially after it’s just been washed. But I never feel I’m dressed enough for it.”

Jim Trenton, a.k.a . the Poorman, disc jockey on KROQ-FM radio:

“I would say it’s my house on the beach in Newport. It’s rented. But people say, ‘What a rough life, you live on the beach in Newport.’ I’ve lived here over a year. It’s my one luxury item. I get inland fever if I don’t live near the beach. But it’s really, really messy. There’s a huge trash can in the kitchen, and there’s several days worth of food lying around, a bar of surf wax, CDs scattered everywhere, toys and clothes. So it’s not some gilded shrine.”