A Shot of Buck Antler?

Tired of the same old restaurant fare of lime-marinated, grilled free-range chicken in tomato coulis with shiitake mushrooms and fried leeks?

Boy, so are we.

And sometimes we here at Social Climes get such a hankering for a nice big vial of . . . deer antler extract. Don’t you?

David Eisenman knows just how we feel. Late of the nightspot Po Na Na Souk, he’s now running the oyster and elixir bar at tres cool restaurant Bo Kaos in Beverly Hills.

So along with your oyster shooter you can also order deer antler extract ($3), which is touted as an aphrodisiac that also strengthens the heart and the nervous system. And, hey gals--want to regulate that monthly cycle? Try some tang kwei ($3), a blood tonic.

“I was doing the oyster bar at Po Na Na, but I had free rein there,” the 30-year-old Eisenman explains. “So I decided to throw in little extras like ginseng tea and elixirs. I went to Chinatown to do research. When they asked me to do an oyster bar at Bo Kaos, I did it a little differently, with a formal menu listing the elixirs and teas, and my own herbal amino drink.

“A lot of people think it’s weird,” he admits, “but I’ve made the menu pretty self-explanatory.” And when he’s behind the bar he’s happy to expound on the brews.

“But generally people love it,” he says. “I’ve had a very positive reaction to it.”

We can see it now: “Oh waiter, I’d like that steak medium-rare, and do you have anything to improve my circulation?”

You Foot-Licker You!

Hurling insults can be a great stress reliever, but we all grow weary of the same old epithets. So, why not recite some Shakespeare?

In conjunction with the debut this month of HBO’s “Shakespeare: The Animated Tales” comes a study guide that includes a game called “Renaissance Dissing.”

Players choose one word each from columns A, B and C to do some hefty name-calling. Examples:

Thou shrewish, rump-fed foot-licker!

Thou yeasty, ill-shaped maggot-pie!

Thou odious, pigeon-livered toad!

Thou churlish, whey-faced worm’s meat!

And so on.

Do this, and “Thou shalt have a perfect insult to fling at wretched fools,” states the guide. Indeed.

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

From the new book “Advanced French for Exceptional Cats” comes this feline’s-eye view of your expensive French antique furniture.

“Les meubles de style Louis Quatorze font grande impression, mais leur bois a tendance a s’effriter et les petites paillettes de dorure se mettent sous les griffes.”

(“Louis XIV furnishings are impressive, but the wood is too splintery and the little flakes of gilt get under your claws.”)