Where to Associate Yourself With Others of Your Ilk

If, like me, you’re constantly pestered by people asking, “Is man an associating animal or not?” tell them, “Why, yes, he is.”

Should they challenge you, merely cite the Encyclopedia of Associations, part of our vast research arm here at the newspaper which we use to find experts on specific subjects. Say you’re doing a story on hay and you need information to augment that which you already have. You’d go to the encyclopedia and see that there’s a National Hay Assn. in Tampa, Fla. Similarly, if you were assigned a story on deranged hobbyists, you might well want to call the National Crossbow Hunters Assn. in Wadsworth, Ohio. What’s the status of Lithuanian Girl Scouts, you wonder? Easy enough to find: simply call the Lithuanian Scouts Assn. in Shrewsbury, Mass.

The Encyclopedia of Associations lists 22,000 national or international groups. Twenty-two thousand. That’s 22,000 instances in which two or more people got together and said, “You know, we really ought to pool our resources.”

The groups run the alphabetical spectrum from the A. Alfred Taubman Center for Public Policy and American Institutions in Providence, R.I., to the ZZ Top Fan Club in Houston. On Page 1 alone of the encyclopedia, you can get information about the Abbott and Costello Fan Club and the American Assn. of Aardvark Aficionados.

There’s the Jane Austen Society, the Nathaniel Hawthorne Society and the Edgar Allan Poe Society, some of whose members may be graduates of any of the dozens of literacy councils, foundations, societies, associations and centers scattered around the country. You could join the Beagle Club of America, a sister club, no doubt, of Denmark’s Beagle Klubben. Don’t you wonder what would happen if the Beer Drinkers of America (headquartered in Costa Mesa, by the way) got together with the honchos of the International Abstaining Motorists Assn.?

People say that Orange Countians are standoffish, unfriendly. They also say there’s no way to meet people.

Ha.

Tell that to the Dachshund Club of Santa Ana Valley, which at last count boasted 27 members and is affiliated with the Dachshund Club of America.

How about the Tall Club of Orange County, whose entry in the directory simply says, “A social club for tall people in Orange County.”

Did you know there’s a local chapter of the national Pontiac-Oakland Club International? Neither did I, but local president and 1993 national convention chairman Dan Santoro of Placentia says the group’s national convention will be held next year in Irvine. “We’re expecting 3,000 people, and without doubt it will be the largest gathering of Pontiac enthusiasts, whenever it happens,” Santoro said.

Santoro reminded me that the Oakland Motor Co. built Oakland automobiles and a model of the Pontiac, before being absorbed by General Motors. The group has 10,000 members around the world and is dedicated to the “preservation and restoration” of Pontiacs and Oaklands, Santoro said.

The National Society of the Daughters of the British Empire in the United States has an Orange County “Westward Ho” chapter. “We meet once a month and have teas at my house,” says regent Constance Morthland of Laguna Beach. The group has an annual benefit to help support a seniors home near Pasadena for people of British ancestry.

Nationality is no limit to members of the Golden Orange Match Cover Club, which meets in Orange. “We collect match covers and boxes and promote the hobby,” says past president Robert Hiller, who lays claim to a collection of nearly 2 million match covers.

Other than stamps, Hiller said, matchbooks are the world’s most popular collection item. “It’s kind of a free, wide-open type of hobby,” Hiller said. “We don’t have any rules. The only rule is, don’t ruin a matchbook.”

Somewhere, there’s a group waiting for you.

How about the Orange County Bromeliad Society in Orange? The World Future Society in Tustin? The Chronic Pain Outreach Assn. in Fountain Valley? The Cardigan Welsh-Corgi Club in Fullerton?

Looking for professional types? Maybe the California Assn. of Window Manufacturers, which already lists 84 members, could find room for you. If they’re sticklers about membership, try the Electrologists Assn. of California, Orange County chapter. Or, how about the Orange County Women’s Bowling Assn.? Why not buzz the California Rare Fruit Growers Assn. in Fullerton, whose members’ stated goal is “to transmit information regarding the introduction and growing of rare fruit, to upgrade familiar fruits and to increase the use of less common fruit.”

I hope you see that man is, indeed, not meant to be alone.

But maybe you’re not a joiner. Maybe you’re a leader. Maybe you want to be the president of your own association.

If so, please give the following every consideration:

As we speak, there’s still no Orange County chapter of the American Assn. of Aardvark Aficionados.