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Don’t leave the garage without it: Here’s...

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Don’t leave the garage without it: Here’s a cheery gift for the individual who must motor about daily in L.A.’s roadeo--the Vertex 1 Traffic Accident Kit.

Intended to “guide accident victims,” its contents include a “Smart Accident Report,” a camera, a warning-distress flag, and “friendly witness cards,” says its developer, the Sherman Oaks-based Vertex Group.

Price is: $34.95.

Friendly witnesses not included.

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Lost in the drink: Just to see if you were paying attention, we recently gave the ingredients for a drink called the Lone Tree Cooler and said it was the Los Angeles Cocktail. Three readers actually noticed.

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Ruth Kelley of Canyon Country pointed out that her “Official Mixer’s Manual” lists the real ingredients for the L.A. Cocktail (serving for four) as:

“Juice of one lemon, 4 tsp. sugar, 1 egg, 1 dash Italian vermouth, 4 hookers of whiskey. Shake well in ice and strain.”

She adds: “Ugh. Where could you find four people to drink this?”

We’d be a little nervous about the hookers.

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Potty Training 101: Alec Kasper phoned to say that Japanese lessons are now being piped in to some restrooms at Santa Monica College. French and Spanish have previously been broadcast in the same venue. So far there have been no pop quizzes.

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No-fault dining: Disaster names are in vogue for local eateries and nightclubs, such as the Shark Club, Typhoon and the Piranha Room. So when a restaurant called Andreas opened on Melrose Avenue we wondered if it was trying to steal away business from downtown L.A.’s Epicentre.

Actually, Andreas doesn’t have an earthquake theme, but “a lot of customers make allusions to the fault,” admqitted the owner, Andreas Tessi.

Or use an old typewriter ribbon, if possible: A recent visitor to the state Department of Industrial Relations picked up a work-permit application, reproduced here, that seemed to contain some pessimistic instructions added by a clerk.

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Crash irony: One of the Southern Pacific freight cars that derailed on the Harbor Freeway overpass had these words painted on the side: “Hydracushion--For Fragile Freight.”

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Rain delay: Our latest cloudburst, interrupting the never-ending drought, recalls the line about L.A. in the Neil Simon play, “I Ought to Be in Pictures”:

“They have 30 inches of rain here--in one day.”

MiscelLAny:

Michael McCasland of West Covina says he will attempt to break his own world prune-eating record (255 within 45 minutes) on Jan. 26, 1993, which is his 40th birthday. McCasland says he’s a “regular guy,” but you probably already figured that.

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