Passing Puck to Anaheim

This, then, has to be the rest of the Jim Abbott trade, right?

Jim Abbott to the New York Yankees for J.T. Snow, Russ Springer, Jerry Nielsen . . . and 20 players to be named later.

Hockey players.

Out of the blue, Orange County was given a hockey team Thursday. Just like that. With no notice, no rumors, no low-level buzz--not even a single CBC leak--the National Hockey League’s Board of Governors met in Palm Beach, Fla., to discuss dream teams (Mario Goes To Lillehammer) and nightmare teams (Hartford Files Chapter 11) and then, oh, by the way, there’s also this:

Anaheim and Miami can have teams, if they want them, and they can start playing next season, if they’re ready.

Next order of business?

This Board of Governors, it has to get a grip. Bruce McNall and his rinking buddies have been over-the-top giddy ever since do-nothing President John Ziegler resigned and ESPN agreed to broadcast NHL games, live and in prime time, instead of the traditional way--3 a.m. tape-delay, right in between “Body By Jake” and “Celebrity Rodeo Billiards.”

Better still, people are actually watching these broadcasts.

“They like us, they really like us,” the dancing owners keep telling themselves.

So, they keep expanding. To San Jose in 1991. To Tampa Bay and Ottawa in 1992. To Anaheim and Miami in 1993. Five new teams in three years. And who’s next? Milwaukee? Seattle? Phoenix?

By the year 2000, there will be more American cities with NHL franchises than daily newspapers.

What a week for Orange County. From a sporting aspect, has there ever been one more tumultuous?

On Sunday, the county lost its favorite baseball player.

On Monday, the county lost its college football team.

On Thursday, the county got a hockey team.

Finally, a press conference you could watch without hiding underneath a table.

And not a minute too soon, say the people at Anaheim Arena, who can now fold up those handkerchiefs they had been using to wipe their brows. The white elephant can be sent back to the petting zoo. Neil Diamond can be sent home, too. No more need for him to play those 237 consecutive dates.

The Continental Indoor Soccer League has company now.

Realistically, this is the only way it could have happened for Anaheim. For months, the city tried the existing-franchise route, only to be used by the Winnipeg Jets, the Hartford Whalers and the Minnesota North Stars to gain public favors and enticements to stay put. And even if an existing team had agreed to move, McNall, as owner of the nearby Kings, would first have to allow it.

Think McNall could get excited about sharing the Southern California hockey market with the North Stars, current leaders of the Norris Division, or the generally competitive Jets?

An expansion team is different. An expansion team will offer no threat to McNall’s Kings for three, four, five years. The San Jose Sharks went 17-58-5 in their inaugural season. The Ottawa Senators have played 31 games so far. Three of them have been Ottawa Senator victories. Expansion was thought to be out of the question after the triple dip of ’91 and ‘92, but McNall needs the money--his Kings have one of the league’s heaviest payrolls, and his Toronto Argonauts have lost $7 million in two CFL seasons--and the NHL needs the money. McNall saw a quick $25 million to be made (his fee for waiving territorial rights) and the NHL saw many uses for the remaining $75 million Anaheim and Miami will have to dole out. So Thursday, they decided to expand away.

To do it, Anaheim had to cut a deal with Disney, which, judging from the opening press conference, is going to be a mixed bag.

Asked to explain Disney’s interest in the NHL, Chairman Michael Eisner listed the following reasons:

“Two of my three children play junior hockey.”

“Our business has long been involved in hockey . . . I can show you a couple of Goofy cartoons where he’s playing hockey pretty aggressively.”

“It’s a family sport, a quality sport. It promotes physical fitness and athletics, which is something we’ve been promoting since the days of Walt Disney, long before I was here.”

And then there was Eisner’s suggestion of a team nickname: “The Mighty Ducks,” a mighty plug for the Disney movie of the same name, about Emilio Estevez and a bunch of hapless pee-wee pucksters.

“ ‘The Mighty Ducks’ has been unbelievably successful, almost a $50-million box office,” Eisner said. “That,” he joked, “was our market research.”

Anaheim can’t call its professional hockey team “The Mighty Ducks.”

That would be like Anaheim calling its professional baseball team “The Bad News Bears.”

Which, come to think of it . . .

The NHL has awarded these franchises with a disclaimer, calling them “conditional.” The conditions that must be met: “arranging for a facility for home games” and seeing that “advance ticket sales . . . demonstrate reasonable team support from the region.”

Some conditions.

Anaheim Arena has been arranged, scheduled to open for business next June. And Orange Countians, starved for a team that hasn’t yet disappointed them or traded their favorite player for a pack of bubble-gum cards, ought to flock to the season-ticket sales booths, eager for something new and fresh and not run by Jackie Autry.

Give the team the right name, and it will be guaranteed fans for life.

My nominee:

The Anaheim Abbotts.