Halfway There, Midway Isn’t the Answer

The Winnipeg Jets, en route to Thursday night’s game against the Chicago Blackhawks, were waiting for a connecting flight in Minneapolis on Wednesday when Capt. Troy Murray joined rookies Alexei Zhamnov and Sergei Bautin in the line at the airport to order a pizza.

While they were eating, their flight left without them. Murray is a former Blackhawk and he knew that if the trio got a quick flight to another Chicago airport, O’Hare rather than Midway, they could beat the team. The plan worked.

The stragglers started out 10 minutes behind the team flight, but while the Jets were fighting traffic on the bus ride from the in-town Midway Airport, the three players breezed in from O’Hare International and beat their teammates by 20 minutes.

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Add Jets: The normal fine for missing the flight would be $100, but Coach John Paddock said it would probably be waived.

“How can we fine them when they beat us?” Paddock asked.

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Trivia time: Which NFL team holds the record for most penalties in a season?

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Unique penalty: Columnist Scott Ostler, of the San Francisco Chronicle, writing on hockey star Eric Lindros, who has been charged with elbowing a woman in a bar and spitting beer in her face:

“He may become the first NHL player sent to the penalty box for high swizzle sticking.”

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Monster course: In the opening round of the wind-blown Johnny Walker World Championships at Montego Bay in Jamaica, Brad Faxon had a four-hole stretch of 6-9-6-7 scoring.

That prompted playing partner Craig Perry of Australia to say, “All of a sudden, the course just came up and ate him.”

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Chopping block: Buffalo Coach Marv Levy on the prospect of losing the Super Bowl for the third year in a row:

“The chances are pretty good they’d simply lead me to a guillotine on the steps of City Hall this time around. Thunk! And that would be that.”

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Penmanship: Dan Barreiro of the Minneapolis-Star Tribune, writing about showboating players in the NFL, had this parody in relation to his own profession:

“There were three occasions when I simply stood up and raised my arms over my head, urging an empty room to acknowledge my last sentence. Twice, I typed in a comma, then stood up and woofed at the moose antlers (he shares an office with an outdoor writer).

“After finishing one sentence I thought read nicely, I stood up and spiked a pen as hard as I could against a file cabinet.”

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Club strikes back: Bobby Cruickshank was leading the U.S. Open in 1934 at the Merion Golf Course in Philadelphia, when he hit a seemingly miraculous shot on the 11th hole, according to “Great Moments & Dubious Achievements in Golf History.”

In celebration, he threw his club into the air. The club landed on his head, knocking him cold. The woozy Cruickshank relinquished the lead and ultimately finished third.

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Picky picky: Indianapolis Colt quarterback Jeff George was penalized five yards in a game with the New York Jets for what the referee announced as “illegal procedure for body language.”

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Trivia answer: The Houston Oilers, with 149 in 1989, six more than the 1984 Raiders.

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Quotebook: England’s Nick Faldo on golfing legend Ben Hogan: “I don’t know of any other man in any other sport who has so much mystique.”