Phonus Abalonus

Giant squid are often used for counterfeiting abalone. There’s a giveaway, though--squid flesh has a thin membrane on one side that can’t be removed.

Waiter, My Oxygen Tank Is Empty

Everybody knows about the Japanese madness for fugu fish liver, which contains a deadly poison. Now we hear reports that fugu fanciers in Japan actually hedge their bets by reserving an ambulance and a hospital room near the restaurant in case of . . . any little surprises. The better fugu joints are said to keep oxygen tanks on hand for the same reason.

Wanted: Mobile Feasts

Cooking in a recreational vehicle is tough--most RVs have cramped kitchens, limited storage and a persistent shortage of water. If you have RV-tested recipes, the compilers of an RV users’ cookbook would like to hear from you. They offer no prizes or payment but promise to give you a copy of the book if they use your recipe (which will be credited). Send recipes for snacks, beverages, soups, entrees, sandwiches and desserts to Randell Knight, Chief Cook & Bottlewasher, Highway Gourmets, P.O. Box 2069, Belfair, Wash. 98528.

Crackers of Steel

Here’s a tough, non-sogging cracker for party season hors d’oeuvres: the Lavosh Hawaii Snack Cracker, made from an Armenian cracker bread (well, the ancient recipe has been enriched with tofu). Available in supermarkets in two sizes: 4 1/2 ounces/$1.99, 8 ounces/$2.99. By the way, what’s Hawaiian about Armenian crackers? Nobody knows why, but Hawaii is mad for the things; lots of restaurants there bake their own.