Too Often, We Tend to Ignore Caregivers

As I read “When Illness Mars the Joy” (Dec. 15), the years flowed back.

My husband suffered a massive stroke in 1987, and I was one of his caregivers (most of us are women) for a good part of the four years he was ill.

A considerable help to me was belonging to a national organization, the Well Spouse for the Chronically Ill.

This group was formed in response to a book “Mainstay for the Well Spouse of the Chronically Ill” by a journalist, Maggie Strong, who told how her life changed while taking care of her husband, who had multiple sclerosis.

The premise of the book is the attention paid to the ill spouse--which is perfectly natural--but, at the same time, the caregiver, struggling to maintain sanity and strength, is ignored.

Rarely does anyone say to the caregiver, “And how are you?”

HELEN J. SALZMAN

Santa Barbara