Fashion Victims in the Follies of ’92

Whatever else it was, 1992 was a landmark year for crimes and mischief involving fashion and style. This reminder is courtesy of Reuter, which filed a year-end dispatch recounting several bizarre episodes that this column--inexplicably--missed. So here they are:

* In Japan, police were called to a village to seek out a pervert who had made off with a clothesline full of men’s and women’s underwear.

Turns out the culprits were more than 40 wild monkeys who raided the village for food and took the underpants with them for good measure.

* A California teen-ager became so furious about a bad haircut that he set fire to the shopping center where the supposed outrage occurred.

* And in an accidentally comic turn, a British man stuck his hand beneath his sweater to make it look like a gun, then went into a betting shop to rob it. When the cashier handed over $325, this would-be Jesse James pulled out his hand to accept it. Guy must have had the IQ of a horse.

* FASHION VICTIMS II: Trendies may have to swallow hard before adopting the fads predicted in the American Forecaster Almanac. Denver writer-prognosticator Kim Long declares that used cowboy boots, scented fingernails and checkered clothing will be hot in 1993, the Associated Press reports.

Of the used cowboy boots, Long says the look makes the wearer seem more authentic than a flashy new pair that immediately brand the wearer as a green city dude. (Actually, the used boot thing has been around in Los Angeles for a while. As usual, the rest of the country must catch up to this city’s level of faux reality.)

Checkered clothing will reappear as part of a revved-up pre-World War II fashion look that will include houndstooth and seersucker, Long adds. She also notes that a ‘70s nostalgia craze that began with platform shoes will continue in ’93 with disco music, longer skirts and straight hair.

Long says scented fingernails will be fashionable too. A new kind of fingernail polish releases a scent that lasts longer than conventional perfume.

Can’t wait to see the first person who wears all this stuff at once.

* STILL SMELLY: The cave-dwelling Norwegian Buddhist astrophysics student who first appeared here a few weeks ago continues to make news. Recently barred from taking an exam because of his body odor, the student this week was ordered by a judge to wash and dress properly before entering the university.

The 39-year-old man, who has been living in a cave near Oslo University for more than 14 years, had asked the court to overrule the university’s decision to ban him from taking exams and bar him from the campus. He also claimed $470,000 in compensation.

He says he is a Buddhist and uses the cave for meditation.

“This case is not about whether I smell bad or not, but about my right to decide how I want to live. The verdict is wrong and I’m going to appeal,” the student told Verdens Gang newspaper from his cave.

Truly a saga in the making.

* REVIVING MAX FACTOR: Procter & Gamble Co. plans a worldwide introduction of its revamped Max Factor cosmetics product line in May, a company spokesman said this week.

The new lineup will include more eye shadow and blush colors and will be introduced simultaneously in the United States, Europe and Japan, spokesman Don Tassone said. It marks the first time Cincinnati-based P&G; has simultaneously introduced new products worldwide, rather than market by market, he said.

The revamped cosmetics will be sold in the United States and overseas under the uniform product name Max Factor International, Tassone said.

Tassone said the changes are part of an upgrading P&G; has been doing on Max Factor since buying the product line last year from Revlon Inc. for $1.06 billion.