Bald like me: John T. Capps III...

Bald like me: John T. Capps III has a personal message for junk bond felon Michael Milken:

“You’ve covered up enough in your lifetime.”

That’s Capps’ way of urging Milken to forgo a toupee in his post-penitentiary life.

“We’d love him to come to our convention,” says Capps, a 51-year-old chrome-dome who founded Bald Headed Men of America in Morehead, N.C., 20 years ago. The group, which has about 2,500 dues-paying members, will hold its annual Bald is Beautiful gala in September.

Milken, who has worn both straight hair and curly toupees, was forced to go topless, so to speak, during his 22 months in prison because federal penitentiaries forbid the use of hairpieces.

No word on whether he plans to return to his toupee or go au naturel .

But Capps says the group would be willing to forget Milken’s synthetic past and even consider him for its Bald Hall of Fame should he bare his scalp.

Capps issued a final appeal to the fallen financier, saying: “It’s time to make a new head start.”

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When 5th Street was rockin’: In their new book, “What was the First Rock ‘n’ Roll Record?” Jim Dawson and Steve Propes contend that one possibility is “Blues,” which was performed in 1944 by a group led by saxophonist Illinois Jacquet. The location? That old rock hangout adjacent to Pershing Square, the since-razed Philharmonic Auditorium.

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Penny-saver: A morning commuter noticed that several motorists were plunking coins into the cup of a panhandler at a 4th Street traffic light downtown. The beggar’s approach--perhaps the most understated in the city--seemed to be working. His sign said: “One penny, please.”

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Full of beans: Seventy years ago, it seems the hot industry gossip in the Sunday L.A. Times appeared in its weekly Farm and Tractor section (there was no Calendar section back then). At least judging from this item:

“A Los Angeles newspaper recently printed . . . that Joe Jordan was granted a divorce from his wife, Madge (on the grounds of cruelty). The husband testified that his wife had fed him on lima beans for three days, when he quit. Upon protesting . . . that lima beans were most nutritious food, the California Lima Bean Growers’ Assn. was told by the court that the mention of lima beans was but incidental in the trial.”

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Speaking of ancient history: Would someone please hand-deliver the results of the last few elections to the Santa Monica post office on Wilshire Boulevard? A chart on the wall lists Alan Cranston and Pete Wilson as this state’s U.S. senators, among other outdated lawmaker designations. What ever happened to Pete Wilson anyway?

miscelLAny:

Ever since President Bush termed Bill Clinton and Al Gore a couple of “bozos,” business seems to have perked up for the clown biz. Larry Harmon’s Bozo University is even trying to recruit “bilingual bozos to serve the growing U.S. Hispanic markets.” Perhaps an El Bozo will someday perform with the famous Latino rock star impersonator, El Vez.