TV REVIEWS : In Space, No One Can Hear You Snore

Inquisitive aliens keep asking the commander of the title space station in the TV pilot “Babylon 5” (at 8 tonight on KCOP-TV Channel 13) just what happened to Babylons 1-4. Each time, he patiently explains that the predecessor outposts either blew up or disappeared, but by golly, we stubborn Earth humans just keep persevering and rebuilding the dang thing anyway. After a while, you’d think he’d start to wonder: Maybe it’s the name .

This Babylon isn’t particularly known for its wickedness--it’s actually the headquarters for a futuristic United Nations-like federation (sound familiar?)--but, like a certain ancient city we can think of, the place is likely to do a quick fade.

It’s said the pilot will turn into a weekly series if viewer reaction is strong. But if the fans do end up clamoring for more, it probably won’t be because of any instant affection for the human characters, who prove that--whatever construction elements may be in favor in the year 2257--woodenness will still be in strong supply.

Commander Jeffrey Sinclair (Michael O’Hare) is such a handsome stiff he makes Captain Kirk or Gil Gerard’s Buck Rogers look as loose as James Brown.

He’s trying to mediate between the five planetary governments that are about to participate in a peace summit, until he’s accused of attempting to assassinate an alien ambassador who is poisoned within minutes of docking the ship.

The budget limitations are in evidence: There only seem to be a few people running or even populating this five-mile-long ship. And while the computer-graphics special effects are sometimes impressive, there’s still no substitute (yet) for actual miniatures.

Those aren’t so hard to take as the idea limitations: Most every element here seems rooted in something in the “Star Trek” shows, albeit without any of the attached themes you’ve come to expect there.

“Babylon 5” isn’t nearly as silly as the late and unlamented “Space Rangers”; mostly, it’s just flat. So what is there to look forward to in this future? Nice special-effects makeup by John Criswell. Occasional moments of jazzy merit in ex-Police drummer Stewart Copeland’s techno-pop score. A few decent gags in the mostly all-too-straight-faced script by J. Michael Straczynski. And the hope that maybe someone’ll goose that commander in the rear.