In the Past, the Only Thing They Wanted on Ice Was a Beer

With the Minnesota North Stars considering a move to Dallas, Frank Luksa of the Dallas Morning News says that Texans need to brush up on hockey’s finer points.

“The depth of local knowledge about hockey reminds of an unfortunate gambler,” he writes. “He bet 15 high school football games on Friday night and lost them all. He bet 20 college games on Saturday without a winner. He bet 14 NFL games on Sunday with the same result.

“He then bet every NBA game on Monday night and was shut out again. On Tuesday morning, he called his bookie.

“ ‘What’s on the schedule?’ he asked.

“ ‘All I got is hockey,’ the bookie said.

“The gambler was incredulous.

“ ‘Hockey? What do I know about hockey?’ ”

Trivia time: When was the final Associated Press college football poll taken after bowl games for the first time?

New ground rules: Taylor Buckley of USA Today says that, in the wake of Cal’s firing of basketball Coach Lou Campanelli for verbally abusing his players, the coach of the ‘90s will have a new set of axioms and homilies:

--” ’There is no shame in losing; there is only shame in shame.’

--” ’Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you emotional stability.’

--” ’Winning isn’t everything, it is merely one of two possible outcomes.’

--” ’Playing to a tie is like kissing your sister. So I say, go for it!’ ”

Do we have a vote?George Russo, a 35-year-old sports memorabilia collector from Boca Raton, Fla., paid $700 for a mounted, seven-foot marlin that he had signed by the expansion Florida Marlins.

“I’m not sure if I’m brilliant or a buffoon,” Russo told Johnette Howard of the Washington Post.

Is this the same guy? After he was taken by the Clippers as the third pick of the NBA draft on June 18, 1985, Benoit Benjamin of Creighton told reporters: “I get really intense when I’m playing, get carried away.”

Carl Scheer, then the Clippers’ general manager, said that Benjamin “could turn out to be as good or better than (Patrick) Ewing.”

Trivia answer: After the bowl games of Jan. 1, 1966.

Quotebook: Georgetown basketball Coach John Thompson, whose team is in danger of missing the NCAA tournament for the first time in 15 years: “People talk about the darkness coming before the dawn, but somebody better give me a candle real soon.”