Second Opinion / OTHER MEDIA : ‘Lost’ Korean- American Sit-Coms

Recently, I attempted to write a script for a popular television series and learned this: It is difficult enough trying to write for an established television series, but if you are an Asian American trying to bring an Asian American angle into your scripts, it is doubly tough.

One need only look at the current prime-time schedule to see the absence of Asian faces and Asian concerns. When I was growing up, at least we had Mr. Sulu driving the U.S.S. Enterprise around the galaxy and Arnold cooking up hamburgers on “Happy Days.”

In light of this, I would like to share with all of you, for the first time ever, the plot synopses to several “lost” Korean American episodes of your favorite TV shows:

“Happy Days”

Arnold (Pat Morita) decides to sell his hamburger joint to his distant Korean cousin Mun Soo (played by Soon-teck Oh), who renames the establishment Mun Soo’s Seoul Food and starts serving kim chi, kalbi and doen jang chige soup. Hilarious hijinks ensue as Fonz, Richie, Potsie, Ralph Malph and the rest of the gang try to adapt to this culture clash.

“Hey, I can’t eat something that smells like my gym socks,” the Fonz says as he stands over a bowl of kim chi.

The episode ends as the gang realizes that they have been acting like close-minded white imperialists and should be more accepting of Mun Soo, while Mun Soo changes his name to Jon, a name they find easier to pronounce.

“Scooby Doo”

As the episode opens, Scooby, Shaggy, and the rest of the gang are driving their van through rural South Korea during the Chusok holiday festivities.

They stop to lodge for the night at a remote village and discover that the townspeople are being terrorized by a mythical Korean banshee. “Looks like we found ourselves another mystery,” Velma says.

The banshee is accidentally captured by a frightened Scooby and Shaggy. It turns out the banshee isn’t a banshee at all, but a greedy real estate developer from Seoul who wanted to scare the villagers off so he could buy their land for cheap.

The gang celebrates by participating in a traditional Korean drum dance and eating ttok (rice cakes).

“The Brady Bunch”

Greg meets a “groovy” Korean chick at school who won’t give him the time of day. When Greg finds out the girl is a member of the Rev. Moon’s Unification Church, he undergoes an abrupt change of religion and wins the girl’s attention.

“You are so far out!” the girl tells him. “I didn’t know you were a follower of the Rev. Moon!”

Mike and Carol realize that something is wrong when Greg starts wearing neatly pressed suits and prefaces all of his statements with “According to the Honorable Rev. Moon . . . “ His parents are worried, but as Mike says to Carol, “Honey, he’s got to learn this lesson for himself.”

After taking a long and hard look at his values, Greg realizes that he cannot pretend to be something he’s not to impress a girl and decides to return to his old self, much to the delight of his family.

“Saturday Night Live”

Korean American comic Steve Park is set to host. The musical guest is to be Journey’s Steve Perry, who is half-Korean.

The writers realize that they cannot think of enough material for an Asian American host to fill the whole hour and a half show. A sketch where Steve plays infocommercial king Tom (“Come to my seminar”) Vu and one where Steve plays Kristi Yamaguchi in drag are the only ideas they can come up with. A writer suggests that maybe they could re-do the John Belushi “Samurai Deli” sketch.

“We’re on the cutting edge of TV, dammit!” Lorne Michaels screams. “We need fresh material!”

Also killed is Steve’s idea to play Korean American attorney Angela Oh in drag to satirize the L.A. liquor store hearings.

Lorne fires Steve, citing “creative differences,” and hires Tom Hanks. During that week’s show, the 324th Hans and Franz sketch is aired.