Now, the Dearly Departed Can Still Be a Part of Any Foursome

Golf Digest reports that Canuck’s Sportsman’s Memorials Inc. of Des Moines, Iowa, will place the cremated remains of dearly departed hackers into the shaft of the deceased’s favorite golf club, or clubs.

“It only takes a few seconds to realize that this is more appropriate than keeping the remains in an urn on the mantel, or in a shoe box in the closet,” said Jay W. Knudsen Sr., the store’s founder and owner.

Knudsen offers another option. For a bit more money, Knudsen’s son and partner, a licensed pilot, will sprinkle the remains over your favorite golf course.

Trivia time: When did the Dodgers’ Sandy Koufax pitch his perfect game?

Think again: Johnny Podres, the Philadelphia Phillies’ pitching coach and a former Dodger left-hander, was at sea on a spring-training fishing trip and noticed the boat rocking as a violent electrical storm moved in.

How did he seek protection? “I put a pail over my head,” he said.

Really?During last Sunday’s Chicago-Cleveland NBA game, NBC’s Ahmad Rashad pointed out: “It was the same right foot that Scottie Pippen injured a year ago.”

No way to go: Dan Shaugnessy of the Boston Globe, on Kevin McHale of the Celtics, who is playing only a limited number of minutes as his career winds down:

“It isn’t supposed to end this way for McHale. He’s been too good for too long. He’s been our Lou Gehrig while Larry Bird played Babe Ruth.

“The image of McHale as a garbage-time Greg Kite, pining for minutes, simply doesn’t fit. Hearing McHale beg for minutes is like going to your high school reunion and discovering the prom queen looks like Mike Ditka.”

Trade-off: Rocky Bridges, a member of the original Angels, once described his favorite diet drink: “You mix two jiggers of scotch to one jigger of Metrecal. So far I’ve lost five pounds and my driver’s license.”

Slugger “stats”: David Martindale of the Sporting News writes that the biggest Louisville Slugger in baseball today is used by Kevin Mitchell, who swings a 36-inch, 35-ounce bat.

Some all-time Slugger superlatives, according to manufacturer Hillerich and Bradsby:

Heaviest--Edd Roush, 48 ounces; Longest--Al Simmons, 38 inches; Shortest--Wee Willie Keeler, 30 inches; Lightest--Billy Goodman and Joe Morgan, 30 ounces.

Double duty: Seattle Manager Lou Piniella after his Mariners were routed, 20-3, by the Tigers at Detroit:

“It looked more like Michigan beating Northwestern out there, instead of baseball. It was 36 degrees. We got to freeze our butts and get them kicked at the same time.”

Net napping: Andrei Medvedev, the 18-year-old Ukranian clay-court standout, has more going for him than his game. He has a sense of humor.

Asked about his habit of closing his eyes during changeovers, he said: “I am dreaming of being in a fast car, being with a girlfriend probably, or laying on a beach where there is a cocktail waitress for me. I do this because on the clay court there is not so much fun.”

Trivia answer: On Sept. 9, 1965, a 1-0 victory over the Chicago Cubs.

Quotebook: From columnist Ray Ratto of the San Francisco Examiner: “Watching Chip Beck play the last four holes of the Masters, one senses he was trying to win the tournament’s coveted green vest.”