Hyperbole Proves Truly Jordanesque

Indiana Pacer President Donnie Walsh on Michael Jordan: “He’s the best player ever--in any sport--because there’s no one who ever was that much better than the next best player in his sport.

“The gap between Jordan and everyone else is larger than it’s ever been anywhere.”

Move over Babe Ruth, Jesse Owens, Jack Nicklaus, et al.

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Trivia time: Other than Curtis Conway, how many other USC players have been selected during the first round of the NFL draft by the Chicago Bears?

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Time warp: Knox College of Galesburg, Ill., has discovered that its nickname for its athletic teams, “Siwash,” is a slur against American Indians.

The school has used the nickname since 1919.

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Stampede: Blackie Sherrod of the Dallas Morning News, writing on the pursuit of NFL free agents: “Many NFL owners, previously thought to be astute businessmen, have behaved like teen-agers set loose in a mall with daddy’s credit card, with scant thought of future consequence.

“The owners’ frantic grasping has drawn attention, as King Kong at a country-club buffet, that was previously centered on the draft.”

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Washed up? Pitcher Greg McMichael is the only rookie on the Atlanta Braves, which means soloing as a dishwasher.

“Well, I had to wash dishes in the clubhouse,” he said. “It’s just something all rookies have to do one Sunday during the season.”

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Oxymoron: From Phil Jackman of the Baltimore Sun: “According to its name, ‘The Wit and Wisdom of George Steinbrenner,’ it should be one of the shortest books ever written.

“Still, author Frank Coffey has filled more than 200 pages with classic utterances by the Boss, including George telling union leaders during negotiations with his ship-building company: ‘I don’t know about you boys, but I’ll be eating three meals a day.’ ”

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Come again? North Carolina center Eric Montross on Coach Dean Smith: “He creates a masterpiece. He does it every day. He’s a Michelangelo.”

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Extra, extra: Headline in the San Francisco Examiner on April 14: “Joe Talks to Lions.” Did the lions talk back?.

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Add Montana: The San Francisco Chronicle recently put out a special section devoted to Montana, who will play for the Kansas City Chiefs next season.

Columnist Scott Ostler summed up Montana’s departure by writing: “Joe Montana, who is to quarterbacking what the Golden Gate is to bridges and what the cable cars are to to public transportation, is gone.”

And a city weeps.

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Of course: Dan Forsman at the Masters tournament, recalling a quotation from Mac O’Grady: “One minute you’re bleeding, the next minute you’re hemorrhaging, and the next minute you’re painting the Mona Lisa.”

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Looking back: During the 1986 Anheuser-Busch tournament at Williamsburg, Va., Bill Kratzert was disqualified because his caddie had run out of balls. The caddie had discarded them to lighten his load.

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Trivia answer: Three. Mike Hull, 1968; Keith Van Horne, 1981, and Mark Carrier, 1990.

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Quotebook: From Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune: “Baseball is the blessed silence that comes between Dick Vitale and John Madden.”