L.A.’s identity problem: When singer Frank Black...

L.A.’s identity problem: When singer Frank Black rocketed to No. 11 on France’s Top 50 singles chart with “Los Angeles” recently, we dared hope that the City of Angels had finally found a winner in its long search for an official city song.

No more jokes about having to settle for such previous submissions as “I Lost My Liver in the L.A. River.”

Alas, “Los Angeles” is not a paean to Los Angeles. Or, at least, our Los Angeles.

Black sings:

I wanna live in Los Angeles/ Not the one in Los Angeles/ No, not the one in South California/ They got one in South Patagonia/ I wanna live in Los Angeles/ Not the one in Los Angeles . . . .

Black is apparently referring to the town of Los Angeles in Chile, part of which is located in the Patagonia region. We don’t know much about the South American city except that it has a population of more than 70,000. It may be a great place to live, free of many problems plaguing South California’s L.A. But the Encyclopedia Britannica notes one eerie similarity.

Chile’s L.A., it says, “has suffered earthquake damage repeatedly.”

Speaking of towns we never knew existed: Beth Wagner was driving on California 138 in the Gorman area of northwest L.A. County when she came across a strange destination sign (see photo). We can’t place the name. Then, again, it sounds vaguely familiar. . . .

Unfortunate timing: From a wire service schedule of events for today: “11:15 a.m. . . . The Los Angeles Area Chamber of Commerce and the Los Angeles Sports Council will co-host a luncheon to honor the Los Angeles Dodgers.” We trust no one will mention that the team is off to its worst start in 64 years.

The company figured this was even better than reducing the litter to 64% size: A public service announcement on the San Diego Freeway says:

Litter Removed

Next 2 Miles

X EROX

Take me out to the opera house: “Who said Los Angeles is a wasteland with no culture?” writes Gill Saben. As counter-argument, Saben enclosed a page from an opera history book showing that Puccini’s “La Boheme” had its American premiere Oct. 14, 1897, in none other than Los Angeles (yes, this Los Angeles).

We looked up the review in the next day’s Times and found that, nevertheless, culture was a concept foreign to some Angelenos.

“It is a regrettable fact,” the reviewer wrote, “that . . . the theater, which should be packed to the doors, is not more than two-thirds filled.” Also: “. . . There is a marked absence of those in the audience (who) would appreciate and enjoy the sublime and masterful music of the world’s great composers.”

Let’s hope the spectators didn’t knock around beach balls, like bored Dodger fans.

miscelLAny:

Provocative titles in the book, “California Painters: New Work,” include “From the Top O Topanga” (by Llyn Foulkes), “Montebello” (Billy Al Bengston), “The Sea at Malibu” (David Hockney), and “Van Nuys” (Peter Alexander).