THE VOICES OF MOTHERHOOD : Latishie Gordon, COSTA MESA

Single mom, 33, recently divorced. Moved to California from Chicago in 1990. Works full time as a word processor for an insurance company. Lives in two-bedroom apartment with her two children, Lauren Gordon, 3, and Michael Jackson, 12.

“I was raised by a single mom. The difference between me and my single mom is I think I spend more time with my children.

I participate in a lot of things. In Chicago, I spent a lot of time volunteering. I was even named Mother of the Year. It is very important to develop a better relationship with your children.

Kids (today) are exposed to more things. If you look at TV, you see sex, and the language is really bad. When I was growing up, there wasn’t that kind of stuff. I think people are less caring now as far as kids are concerned. Even though my son thinks I am overprotective, being a single parent, I have to shelter him. There are a lot of things kids are exposed to--it is faster in California.

Some of the things Michael is doing in junior high school I was doing in high school. He took drafting this year, and the last 10 weeks he learned how to cook. They will know more when they get out into the working world. They have a better opportunity career-wise than I did.

Being out here alone, you really have to depend on yourself in order to keep your family together. I see my son being at home without a father. We are all in family counseling because of the divorce. It is very bitter and ugly. (The counseling) has helped a whole lot to keep the family together.

But (the divorce and moving) has built up my self-esteem. I have more confidence in myself.

Now, one of my greatest concerns is trying to make ends meet. I am really concerned about keeping (my children) in a stable situation, not letting them be exposed to gangs and drugs. You can’t prevent that, but you can pick and choose the neighborhood they live in.

(Michael) was having problems adjusting to the Costa Mesa school system. He is in special-education class; he has attention deficit disorder. It may be one thing today and another thing tomorrow. He has a lot of anger built up inside of him; when he is not able to concentrate he becomes very frustrated and lashes out. Kids have a tendency to pick on him. It is very stressful with me dealing with him.

There are some easy times, some good times and some bad times. That is all part of it.

Motherhood is having your time with another person, watching them grow up, watching them go through changes--maybe some of the things you went through--and giving them guidance.”