Government urners: The uproar over the Filipino-American...

Government urners: The uproar over the Filipino-American art exhibition in City Hall--specifically the since-removed banner of a dog roasting on a spit--made us think of John Marshall.

His "Monument of the Unknown Government Employee" also stirred up a fuss last year. Some City Hall workers said the sculpture, which included a generic man with a briefcase and a coffee urn, implied that they spent too much time on Java breaks.

Although "Monument" received mention in Newsweek and Spy magazine, Marshall has been unable to achieve his dream of having the sculpture put on permanent display in Washington. Even if only at 10 a.m. and 3 p.m.

"This probably isn't the best time, with all the talk of downsizing government in Washington," he said. "I think part of the reason for the negative reaction here was that the city was about to lay off 80 employees."

Nor has Marshall's agent been able to land "Monument" a guest shot on Jay Leno's "Tonight Show." "We could wheel the thing over to NBC and put it on the stage very easily," Marshall pointed out.

Not that the artist is dawdling around a coffee urn. He's already creating a new work. "It's about a space station for the homeless," he said. "I don't know if people are going to take it the right way. . . ."

Life in the Wild West: With the increase in violence in these parts, it should come as no surprise that a store such as the Price Club has to post a sign asking customers to please leave the Uzis, etc., in the car.

Did the fertilizer really hit the rotor blades?USC alumni say yes. UCLA alums say no. The 35-year-old controversy dates back to an attempt by Bruin practical jokesters to drop a bag of fertilizer on USC's Tommy Trojan statue from a helicopter.

In Neil Steinberg's book "If at All Possible, Involve a Cow: The Book of College Pranks," some UCLA bombers were quoted as saying that the stuff blew back in their faces.

But the Bruins' aim will be defended June 5 at a posthumous tribute to Irv Sepkowitz, the mastermind of the plot, who died last year. Organizer Thomas Pleasure, an alumnus of UCLA's KELP pranksters, says he has "assembled a lineup of expert testimony from helicopter pilots, naval aviators and eyewitnesses."

We won't settle for anything less than a re-enactment.


One-stop service?It didn't provide much relief to Cliff Dektar that the stretch limousine that nearly ran him down as he attempted to cross Wilshire Boulevard on a green light was from Westside Hospital. Or even that the limo bore a sign saying: "Patient Courtesy Transportation Service."


One of the most celebrated members of the cast of TV's "Green Acres" will be honored with a likeness in Buena Park's Movieland Wax Museum. It's none other than Arnold Ziffel, the show's late couch-potato pig.

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