Tommy Trojan or Tommy Tuna? Members of...

Tommy Trojan or Tommy Tuna? Members of USC’s next freshman class couldn’t help but feel a bit disoriented as they toured the campus this week. By coincidence, the school had been turned into a set for “Blue Chips,” a movie about a college basketball coach.

The newcomers thus came across signs for several buildings not listed on their maps, including a gym--”University Field House”--at the location of the campus bookstore. (We don’t want to hear any jokes about academics from UCLA grads.) Outside the “field house,” meanwhile, stood a majestic fake statue of the movie team’s mascot: a dolphin.

And new school colors--blue and gold--were splashed around campus. While those are the hues of USC’s cross-town rival, some of the Trojans-to-be seemed to approve.

“Oh my God!” one young woman was overheard exclaiming. “I like blue so much better than crimson!”

*

They come in all sizes: Sarah Marquez sent us a bulletin that proves that the L.A. Unified School District doesn’t discriminate in hiring bus drivers (see excerpt).

Who asked you to hitchhike here anyway? Ethan Fingerote came across this anti-Los Angeles quote from another literary type:

“L.A. is the loneliest and most brutal of American cities,” the writer said. “New York gets god-awful cold in the winter but there’s a feeling of wacky comradeship somewhere in some street. L.A. is a jungle.”

Sounds like something written after the riots? Actually, it’s from Jack Kerouac’s 1957 novel “On the Road.”

*

Amazing discoveries: The latest dispatches from our area sleuths:

* A store sign that said: “Hot Furniture” (spotted by John Saenz). Even before the riots.

* A mortuary next to a sign that says: “$300 Moves You In. Extra Large Singles” (Kishori Patel).

* A fast-food eatery’s typo that sounds like a new Pacific Rim ice cream drink, a “Milk Sake” (Paul Cate).

* Another restaurant flyer advertising “fresh food, sanitation system. . . .” (Michael Levinrad).

* And, finally, a telephone directory listing for “Pete’s I Cheat You Right Repair Service” (June Lockhart). Which isn’t a typo by the way. “It’s an eye-catcher,” explained co-owner Kenneth De Hart. Not quite in the league of “Hot Furniture,” though.

*

Surprises everywhere: A local radio station broadcast a brief item about Cracker Jack and the company’s 81-year-old custom of putting prizes in its boxes of candy. Then the station followed up with an item on the alleged discoveries of syringes in Diet Pepsi cans.

miscelLAny:

In our continuing name/occupation game, we offer you the name of one employee in the loan department at Western Federal Savings & Loan in Marina del Rey: Mark Ussery. Pronounced US-sery, in case you’re wondering.