Thinking About Politics, Commerce, the Sky . . . and Beer

Various thoughts, observations and shamelessly stolen ideas that should take you no longer to read than the time it takes to finish your morning cereal:

* I hate anointings for public office, such as outgoing Supervisor Thomas F. Riley’s of heir-apparent Marian Bergeson. The county’s business is ever more complicated and too much in need of innovative approaches to let anyone have a cakewalk into office. Campaigns spark debate and, occasionally, ideas. Republicans who espouse the spirit of competition and free enterprise as a boon to a better product conveniently forget all about that when it comes to intra-party politics.

* A commercial leasing company in what you’d think would be an attractive area near John Wayne Airport is offering space for 85 cents a square foot. Sounds to me like the business equivalent of someone holding a sign saying, “Will Work for Food.”

* Speaking of which, I saw two bedraggled guys with “Help” signs working the same median on Harbor Boulevard the other day. They couldn’t have been more than 50 feet apart from each other. Guys, that doesn’t make much sense.

* Earth to Governor: Pete Wilson’s comment that Orange County is “never again going to be a sleepy, quiet village” looked especially insightful on a day when front page headlines also reported the discovery of 14 pipe bombs in Santa Ana and a methamphetamine lab in Garden Grove.

* I’m no financial genius, but here’s a free tip. Don’t even think about investing in that chain of companies known as “Your Name Here.” I’ve seen a lot of their outlets around Orange County, and every single one of them is empty.

* While driving in Irvine recently, I saw this bumper sticker: “Commit Random Acts of Kindness.”

* Ever candid, U.S. Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware said last week: “But I am not a black woman.” Any other admissions, Senator?

* I would love to find out that “Jeopardy” is fixed. As it is, I hate thinking other people are that much smarter than I am.

* What more compelling sign of Orange County’s diversity than this cluster of stores side by side in a strip mall at Fairview Street and Edinger Avenue in Santa Ana: Rod’s Liquor Store, Son Ha Seafood Market, Estetica Guadalajara.

* Why does life have to be like this? I don’t have any kids and yet am one of the few people who can explain why the sky is blue.

* Sorry, but I just don’t believe the new Disney resort is going to revitalize the Southern California economy as much as its backers say.

* Run for your lives! Here’s the language used by U.S. Senate Republican Leader Bob Dole and the Republican National Committee in a fund-raising letter to party faithful: “ . . . The liberal Democrats are literally dancing in the streets here in Washington. They now control the White House, the Congress, the federal bureaucracy, the media, academia and the entertainment industry.”

* Don’t ask me why, but I hate to watch my car go through a carwash. I always turn my head.

* Add Dole: If the Democrats were smart, they’d do all they could the next couple of years to make Dole look like the Republicans’ best choice for the ’96 presidential campaign.

* Add Panhandlers: A group handed out the “Polite Panhandler Kit” before this month’s baseball All-Star game in Baltimore. According to the tips, the successful panhandler says “please” and “thank you,” avoids using profanity, and smiles and makes eye contact.

* Speaking of lawyer jokes, this one happens to be true. There is a longtime Council Bluffs, Iowa, firm started by the late Oliver Oscar Over Sr. His twin sons, Oliver Oscar Over Jr. and Oscar Oliver Over eventually joined the firm, which today is known as Over Over & Over.

* Near the end of his career in 1960, Hall of Famer Stan Musial of the St. Louis Cardinals took a cut from $100,000 to $80,000. “I’m glad to sign this contract, because a couple of times in the past the Cards have had me sign for more than we agreed upon orally,” Musial said at the time. “This year I thought I’d be kind to them.”

* After my negative review of “Sleepless in Seattle” three weeks ago, a barrage of letter-writers raised the interesting possibility that I didn’t know what I was talking about. The zinger that hurt the most was from a Laguna Niguel woman who wrote: “Don’t worry, I’m sure no one noticed the chip on your shoulder.”

* And, finally, don’t ever forget the words of Adolphus A. Busch, who reportedly said in 1924: “You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.”