And if you take LAX, we’ll throw...

And if you take LAX, we’ll throw in three knife sets: Mayor Richard Riordan was speaking live on television Wednesday when the blurb “$100 Off” flashed on the screen. Was he trying to sell city assets on the Home Shopping Network? Actually, he was discussing the Rodney G. King verdicts on Channel 13.

KCOP News Director Jeff Wald said the mix-up occurred because a computer generated a graphic that was supposed to be superimposed over a commercial. “Everything was a little crazy because we were going live,” he said. “It’s unfortunate that it happened to the mayor, but the computer doesn’t know from the mayor.”

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But does she call it the boob tube?If your own TV is acting up, Crystal can make the problem go away while she go-gos away in your living room (see photo). Micheal Sendlewski noticed her unique ad on the side of a car on Echo Park Avenue.

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There’s a moral in there somewhere: Brad Sales of Sierra Madre thought it an ironic scene when he pulled up to a freeway off-ramp and “spotted a guy holding a sign that said, ‘Homeless. . . . Will Work for Food.’ There was a woman standing at the same off-ramp. She was selling oranges.” Working, in other words.

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And they have at least three seconds to decide!The Sheriff’s Department recently revised its policy regarding the pursuit of suspects who are fleeing in vehicles. Deputies who want to take chase now must simply make an instant decision “after careful consideration” of:

* “The seriousness of the offense.

* “The speeds involved.

* “The safety of the public in the area.

* “Pedestrian and vehicular traffic volume.

* “The time of day.

* “Weather and road conditions.

* “Familiarity with the area of the pursuit.

* “The quality of radio communications.

* “The capabilities of the police vehicle.”

Oh, yes, also:

* “Any other factor that would determine when the interests of public safety and effective law enforcement would not justify initiation of a vehicular pursuit.”

We might add one ourselves. The deputies should wait until the TV news helicopters are fueled up and ready to go.

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More from the In-Flight Comedy Network: David Arthur relates that he was on a Southwest Airlines flight out of L.A. that had one of the “the all-time worst landings. It was so rough that the flight attendant got on the PA and said: ‘That wasn’t the captain’s fault. That wasn’t the co-captain’s fault. That was the asphalt.”’

miscelLAny:

A press release from the city of Palmdale announced that Mayor James Ledford was honoring Cinemark Movies 8 and Crazy Otto’s Diner for their culinary feat of “breaking the world’s record for the largest omelet (which) put the name of Palmdale around the world.”