The Finale for Big N at Big A

Nolan Ryan will never pitch here again.

Tonight’s the last night. Close to 50,000 fans are coming to Anaheim tonight to see Ryan pitch. Close to 49,000 would like to see Nolan no-hit the home team.

C’mon. Wouldn’t you?

Sure, you would.

Nothing against the Angels. You simply yearn to look up at that scoreboard and see:

TEXAS 100 000 000--1 5 0

CALIF 000 000 000--0 0 0

Because this is one of those “one more time” things. Maybe you would like to see Jimmy Stewart in a movie, one more time. You probably won’t. Maybe you would like to see Arnold Palmer win a big golf tournament, one more time. You probably won’t. Don’t you want to see Nolan Ryan throw a no-hitter, one more time? You probably . . . uh, possibly won’t.

Never spit into the wind, never tug on Superman’s cape and never bet against Nolan.

Even the opponents are excited.

The Angels intend to use their best possible lineup, although they no longer have the meanest murderer in their row, now that Slammin’ Tim Salmon is hurt.

Everybody wants to get into the act. Another rookie, Eduardo Perez, has been practically begging Manager Buck Rodgers to let him play tonight.

Brave lad.

Personally, I wish the Angels could bring in Claudell Washington, just for this one occasion. Poor old Claudell struck out so many times against Ryan, he became like a baseball version of the Washington Generals playing basketball against the Harlem Globetrotters. I think Claudell would have whiffed if Nolan pitched from second base.

Even though Ryan is old enough to be Perez’s father--even though he pitched against Perez’s father--he is still out there throwing fastballs. He is a Univac in a world of laptops. And yet, Nolan Ryan, unplugged, could still scatter three hits and strike out nine.

He’s the only man in the world I would pay money to see pitch batting practice.

The old gray hurler ain’t what he used to be.

Nevertheless, fans, you bring those “K” cards to the park tonight, just in case. Count those strikeouts and don’t throw away your ticket stub, because it might be worth something some day.

It’ll say you were there.

It’ll say you saw the Man. Capital M.

Even if the Angels score a half-dozen off Ryan in the first, at least you will have watched him work. Stewart could still make a movie. Palmer can still play golf. Ryan, though, will never pitch here again.

For the Angels or against.

Particularly adept at trading pitchers who throw no-hitters, the Angels could have used Ryan all these years. They are no closer now to their first World Series than they have ever been, and yet owners Jackie and Gene Autry are looking to trim another $8 million from their payroll.

Hopelessly out of first place, Rodgers still feels this is no night to be checking out Angel prospects. Sending out newcomers against Ryan is like sending out new swimmers to an old shark. And besides, Texas is in a pennant race. You owe it to baseball to play your best against contenders.

Ryan actually still has a shot at pitching in the World Series.

He hasn’t done so since 1969, in Angel fan Dick Nixon’s rookie season as president.

In case I never see him pitch another game, though, here are 10 things that made Nolan Ryan different from other baseball greats of my generation:

1--I never saw him with floppy hair, bushy sideburns, a bristly mustache, a grubby beard or brown tobacco juice drooling from his mouth.

2--I never saw him low-five, bump arms, click elbows, butt heads or shake hands any way except the regular way.

3--I never saw him do a TV commercial that annoyed me.

4--I never read about his being arrested.

5--I never heard him blame somebody else.

6--I never thought of him as too mean, and I never thought of him as too nice.

7--I never knew about his private life and never cared.

8--I never saw him start a fight, but I never saw him run from one.

9--I never spotted him on a football sideline, at a hockey rink or courtside at a basketball game.

10--I never heard language coming out of him that I couldn’t repeat to my mother.

Thanks for being Nolan, Nolan.

Happy trails.