Daughter of Sarajevo Fills Her Diary With Death

If you are overdosed by images of bloodshed in Bosnia, inured to the hellish pictures that keep staining the TV news and front pages, tired of trying to figure out who is the bad guy, perhaps the voice of a little girl can reawaken your compassion.

Today, I donate this space to Zlata Filipovic, a 12-year-old Sarajevo girl, who began keeping a diary on her 11th birthday in 1991. The diary was given by Zlata’s teacher to a Bosnian anti-war group, which published it last July.

Here are some excerpts.

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Dec. 26, 1991: Today was the last day in musical school for the year. I passed my music school exams with an A. Super. I sent a letter to Satricici TV and won a ticket for the Ninja Turtles Show. Yesterday was Christmas Day and we went to see Martina and Matea. Mum and Dad sent a package to Srdan in Dubrovnik. There is a real war going on in Dubrovnik. The New Year’s Day is coming soon and I don’t know where we are going to celebrate or who with. YO BABY YO! says the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. He is one of my favorites on TV. Ciao!

Jan. 14, 1992: We had noise at home because I stayed too long with Vanja and Andrej. But you can’t play Monopoly just for awhile! Vanja and Andrej went completely bankrupt and I had all red coupons--12 million to be exact. Oops, there’s the Bugs Bunny Show on TV--I have to watch it!

March 30, 1992: Hello, Diary! You know what I think? Anne Frank named her diary Kitty. Maybe I could name you something: Asfaltina, Sefika, Sevala, Mimmy or something else? I will call you Mimmy. Well, let’s start. Dear Mimmy . . . Tomorrow, so they told us we should go to Skenderija to a classical music concert. My teacher said we shouldn’t go--there will be 10,000 people-- children, pardon me--and someone could take us hostages or put a bomb in the concert hall. Mum tells me not to go, so I won’t. I don’t dare to tell this. Melica heard at the hairdressers that on Saturday, April 4, somebody will bomb Sarajevo.

April 3, 1992: Dear Mimmy, what should I do if someone bombs Sarajevo? Azra leaves for Austria today. She is afraid of war. I am listening to Radio M. I feel safer. Mum says that what Melica heard at the hairdresser is disinformation. Oh, Lord, I wish it were. Mimmy, I love you.

April 6, 1992: (The siege of Sarajevo begins). NOTHING AND NOBODY IS SANE HERE! Bascarsija is destroyed. People have been in Parliament since yesterday. Some of them stay in front of Parliament. Now they shoot at people from the roof of the Holiday Inn. Maybe we will go to the cellar. You, Mimmy, will surely go with me. I am desperate. Mimmy, war is here! PEACE NOW!! I don’t hear any shooting around the house any more. Knock, Knock. I am knocking on wood for good luck. Sigh! This is all so very hard. But Augh! They shoot again??!

April 15, 1992: Dear Mimmy, there was a terrible shooting at Mojmilo quarter . . . Keka cries, Braco cries and Mum cries too. And “they” up there in the hills scramble us with their grenades. Oh, WOOOOW! Why do people make war? Love, Zlata.

April 23, 1992: This day in Sarajevo was horrible. Shells fall from all around, people and children get killed, shooting everywhere. We will probably spend the night in the cellar. Now I am getting ready. I put cakes, juice, playing cards and some other things in my knapsack. And I hear cannon and other shooting things. Love, Zlata.

April 28, 1992: Dear Mimmy . . . Wow! Everybody left. I am staying here without friends.

April 29, 1992: Dear Mimmy . . . I would write much more about this war if only I could. But I simply can’t bear to remember all those awful events. I feel sick of it! Please, don’t be angry with me. Love, Zlata.

May 20, 1992: Dear Mimmy, On the seventh of May, a bomb or shell fell on the park. A lot of people were hurt . . . Selma lost a kidney and NINA DIED. A piece of shell stopped in her brain and she died. Oh, she was so cute and a nice girl. We were together in kindergarten and often we played in the park. I will draw a flower vase for Nina WHO WAS KILLED IN THIS DISGUSTING WAR!

May 27, 1992: Dear Mimmy . . . A SLAUGHTER! A MASSACRE! A HORROR! A CRIME! BLOOD! SCREAMS! DESPERATION! This is a description of Vaso Miskin Street today. Two shells fell on the street and one fell on the market. And my Mummy was so near it. Dad and I went mad because she didn’t come back. At 8 p.m. Dad decided to go to the hospital to look for Mamma, but a moment later we saw her running over the bridge. She was shaking when she entered the door. She said, “I saw massacred people!” HORROR!

June 18, 1992: Our weekend house in Dobrosevici, about 200 years old, was burned (we spent last summer there). All burned. To the foundation stone. Our neighbors Ziga, Meho and Becir were killed. Doctor’s house too. A lot of people were killed.

June 26, 1992: BOREDOM! SHOOTING!!! SHELLS!! PEOPLE BEING KILLED!! DESPERATION!! STARVING!! MISERY!! TERROR!! This is my life. The life of an innocent 11-year-old schoolgirl!!!

August 14, 1992: Dear Mimmy . . . Since the day before, we have had neither water nor electricity.

September 15, 1992: Dear Mimmy . . . A boy from my literary group was killed. A shell fell in front of a building and a horrible fragment of it killed him. Oh God . . . what is happening here . . . ?

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Excerpts from Zlata’s diary will be read Oct. 14 at a jazz/rock/New Age benefit at the Greek Theatre. “Children Under Siege: An Evening of Music for the Children of Bosnia-Herzegovina” will feature Alan Parsons, Jon Anderson of Yes, Roberta Flack, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Mick Fleetwood, Ambrosia and Yanni, among others. Proceeds will pay for food, clothing, water and medical supplies.

Last summer, when the diary was unveiled at a ceremony in Sarajevo, Zlata told the crowd that being under siege makes her feel like a swimmer forced to jump into cold water against her will.

“I feel surprised, sad, unhappy and frightened, and I wonder where they are making me go,” she said. “I enjoyed my childhood. I was warm there, I was happy there, like all the children whose childhood is being destroyed.”

Zlata Filipovic will turn 13 on Dec. 3.