DOWNTOWN : Parenting Course Strengthens Bonds

About 30 residents of the William Mead Homes housing project were awarded diplomas Wednesday night after taking a 12-week parenting course.

“The course has helped me answer their questions with more liberty,” said Manuela Vargas, 40, who has nine children ranging from 7 to 20. “I can now be more open with them, and I can share in their problems.”

Soledad Castellano, 49, who has 17- and 5-year-old daughters, said the course has made her a better parent: “With my youngest, I have noticed that she behaves better, and we get along much better since the course.”

The free training, sponsored by La Placita church and the Soledad Enrichment Action youth counseling group, focused on creating a stronger parent-child relationship by allowing children to have more of a voice in the home. It also encouraged parents, in an effort to stem rebellion, to more openly express their feelings toward their children.

“Too many young men are getting involved in gangs, too many young women are getting pregnant,” said Alberto La Torre, who taught the course. “Parents have to try and understand their children--and themselves--if this is to stop.”

Using videotaped examples of family situations, La Torre emphasized the importance of a democratic household, and of communication between parent and child. “I tried to show them how freedom of expression makes a child feel like he is an equal in respect and value,” he said. “If a kid doesn’t have self-respect, he is more likely to enter gangs, do drugs, or have other problems.”

Too many Latino parents, La Torre said, raise their children in an authoritative fashion, leading the youths to believe that their opinions lack importance. And many of those parents fail to talk through problems with their children, finding it easier to punish them.

One goal of the course is for parents to spend more time with their children, to prevent them from seeking attention elsewhere.

“The young see the homeboys as their family,” said Brother Modesto Leon, founder and executive director of the youth counseling group. “The church, the family have failed them. We have to bring the family concept back. What you learned here should help stop the violence by not losing touch with our children.”

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