Coping With Loss of His Sons a Day-to-Day Battle for Allison

This was a good day for Bobby Allison, a man who has known more than his share of bad ones. A crowd of adoring fans was lined up at the state fair to get his autograph, proving that the Allison name is still magic in this part of the country.

“There are still times when I just want to sit and cry,” said Allison, who lost both of his sons, Davey and Clifford, in the past 15 months. “Sometimes it’s not hard to talk about it. Sometimes it is.”

On this day, Allison seemed to enjoy it as the fans walked up and asked him to sign cards, hats and pictures, many bearing Davey’s name.

“My whole house is decorated with Bobby and Davey stuff,” said Cecelia Graham, whose 10-year-old daughter is named Allison. “The den is Davey’s den. There’s nothing but Davey stuff in there. My son has started decorating his room with Bobby stuff. I guess you could say we have early-American Allison.”

But Graham is bittersweet when she reflects on the tragedy that has befallen Alabama’s first family of racing.

“I’ve not been to a race since Davey died. I can’t go back,” she said. “Every time that car (the No. 28 Ford Thunderbird) goes around the track, that’s not Ernie Irvan in there. That will always be Davey Allison’s car.”

Allison’s eldest son, who followed in his father’s footsteps to Winston Cup stardom, was killed in a July helicopter crash at Talladega Superspeedway. In August 1992, younger brother Clifford, whose racing career had not yet bloomed, died in a wreck during practice at Michigan.

“Somebody might walk up with a picture or a card of Davey, and I’ll feel good about it,” Allison said. “I’ll get exactly the same thing from the next person and maybe I’ll cry. Today was a good day so far.”

Allison’s own driving career was ended by a crash in 1988 that nearly took his life and has lingering effects.

“I wish I was doing better,” he said. “I still hurt a little bit. I still have some memory loss. I guess I’m having to deal with a lack of personal self confidence, which was something I never had to worry about before. I always had tons of that. That’s been kind of tough.”

Allison still walks slowly and wears a seasickness patch to cope with dizziness. He has longed to reach a point where he could get behind the wheel of a race car again, but seems to be coming to grips with the fact that that day likely will never come.

“I’ve been through cycles up and down, thinking that I could get in a car to test or maybe aim for a specific race or something like that,” he said. “But I don’t know where that is today.”

There are other things to worry about, anyway. His racing team has been in turmoil since driver Jimmy Spencer announced a few weeks ago that he is leaving after Sunday’s season finale, the Hooters 500 at Atlanta, to join Junior Johnson.

Allison also is trying to line up a 1994 sponsorship deal for a team that has yet to win its first NASCAR race after four years of trying.

“We’re trying to deal with going to Atlanta and doing the best we can in Atlanta,” he said. “We’re trying to get a win before the season is over with. This is our last chance.”

But Allison made it clear that he doesn’t intend to abandon the sport that has brought him so much joy--and so much grief.

“There’s been a lot of tough things come along, especially over the last year and a half with losing Clifford and Davey,” he said. “It’s really been a tough deal. . . . But racing has been our lives, so that’s kind of where we’re got to try to put our efforts.”

Oddly, his team’s future is in doubt at a time when he believes he has become more of a contributor rather than just a figurehead.

“As I get further along in my recuperation, I remember how things used to look: the chassis setup, the geometry of things,” he said. “For a few years, that stuff was way out in left field.”

Off the track, there have been reports that Davey’s widow, Liz, began a relationship with country singer Joe Diffie, who sang at the funeral. The closeknit racing community around Hueytown has been buzzing with rumors and speculation.

“I feel like Liz has done a lot of good things to take of herself and her children, Davey’s children,” Bobby said. “I pleased that she was able to get some kind of feeling of relief and support from Joe Diffie and I’m sad that it has to be expanded on and guessed at and so forth.”

Allison said his Catholic faith has helped him cope with his grief. Also, he regained his medical clearance to fly solo again, which gives him more freedom and peace of mind.

“It allows me to put my basic main train of thought toward operating the airplane,” he said, “and it gives me time to mull things over while the plane is going along.”

But coping with the loss of two sons is still a day-to-day battle.

“I feel like I’ve recovered from (Davey’s death) to a degree quicker than I did when Clifford died,” Allison said. “It’s probably just what I learned from the agony of losing Clifford, because it hurt every bit as bad.”