When MTV Fans Grow Up, There’s FAD TV

I t’s so tiresome watching Metallica hour after hour. . . . Our interests have matured. . . . We want to improve the quality of our lives, get the best the world has to offer. . . .

We want our FAD TV!

And Tony Guccione--whose dad dreamed up Penthouse and whose brother gave us Spin--wants all you “style enthusiasts” to have it.

Set to launch late next year, New York-based Fashion and Design Television will introduce the post-MTV crowd to the good life (exotic travel, architecture, plastic surgery) and cutting-edge fashion. By comparison, Guccione says, cable fashion hostesses Cindy Crawford, Elsa Klensch and their ilk are “in the Dark Ages.”

Pausing on his way from the California Cable Television Assn. 1993 Western Show in Anaheim to his hotel--the stylishly correct Chateau Marmont--Guccione explained to us in British-accented cablespeak FAD TV’s strategy: Develop “substantive wraparound programming” to link “built-in provider programming.” Translation: In between fashion and cosmetics industry-supplied videos, D-Jays (design jockeys) and F-Jays (fashion jockeys) will prattle on.

“What do you think Generation X would rather watch,” he asks rhetorically, “a head-banging video introduced by Beavis and Butt-head or the latest fashion video from Giorgio Armani?”

Uh, neither?

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Going, Going, Almost Gone: Among the Hollywood memorabilia Christie’s auction house will exhibit today at West Hollywood’s gallery-like boutique Maxfield, is item No. 814, a dress designed by legendary MGM costume designer Adrian for Judy Garland to wear in “The Wizard of Oz.”

Valued in the $10,000 to $15,000 range, the blue cotton pinafore with polka dot border is accompanied by a black-and-white studio test shot of Garland in the dress. A slate in the photo’s foreground reads: “10/31/38 original dress own hair and fall before darkening.”

While perhaps not as iconic as the film’s ruby slippers, which the auction house sold last year for $168,000, the dress is burned into the minds of a generation of women. It was worn, notes Garland biographer David Shipman, over “a figure-flattener designed to make her look an unspecified number of years younger” than the actress’s 16 years.

Also included in far-ranging exhibit: the miniature Oscar Garland won for her role as Dorothy and the actress’s personal telephone book--with Cary Grant’s number.

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Floor Show: No, those weren’t reindeer prancing around the new SuitMasters store in Glendale earlier this week. It seems a herd of male model-dancers being fitted for an upcoming Discover card commercial wanted to see if the $199 wool suits would perform as well as their birthday suits.

“Let’s just say they were getting pretty creative,” said SuitMasters General Manager Jim Devlin, who had his hands full keeping the undressed dancers inside their dressing rooms. “I had to remind them a few times that this is a place of business and not a dance hall.” Too bad.

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Happy, Slappy Holidays: There was plenty of bouncin’ bottoms and poundin’ boots at the Thanksgiving feast we were lucky enough to attend. While the turkey roasted (at the caterer’s), a couple of long-limbed, chaps-wearing beauties taught everyone the Texas two-step. We sat the line dancing out, fearing our carefully selected upscale grunge attire didn’t really lend itself to pelvis dipping. Out of curiosity, though, we asked our dance instructress what a set of black suede, fringed chaps with matching vest might cost. About $300 would get us into the spirit of things. There isn’t enough money, we’re afraid, to get us into the black lace body stocking that goes underneath.

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Saturday Night Fever: We all know what a hot date destination Santa Monica’s Third Street Promenade has become (preceded, in the case of the truly hip, by soothing his-and-her massages at the nearby Burke-Williams spa). But the most Disneyland-esque scene takes place at the cavernous Urban Outfitters store. After an hour of shopping separately, we caught up with Mr. Inside Out at the crowded cash register. “It’s like the Gap, but way cooler,” he noted.

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Pretty in Khaki: Speaking of the Gap, the store’s apparently making a thematic adjustment in one of its recent ad campaigns. You know, the one that depicts Sammy Davis Jr., James Dean, Ernest Hemingway all khakied up. The Westwood Village Gap will host a casting call tonight from 8 to 10 for UCLA students who think they just might qualify to take the khaki thing into the ‘90s. And who better than Starbucks to fuel a ‘90s wingding? According to a spokeswoman, the Seattle-based coffee maker will supply the students with “enough caffeine to turn 500 people into coffee achievers.”

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Bad Timing: Not to suggest that people here are a little perverse, but designer Todd Oldham tells us his “fire-starter” dress is one of his, um, hottest sellers.

His fire started in a tuna can in his New York studio. He set it, photographed it and printed it on stretchy T-shirts and dresses. That was long before the dreaded L.A. fires. Still, says Oldham, “we were so nervous about showing it.” He did, though, in a runway presentation of his spring collection at Neiman Marcus this week. “Strangely enough,” he says, “we’ve sold tons of the fire-starter clothes. More than any print I’ve ever made.”

Just before the show, Oldham put a damper on one magazine’s bizarre request: “They wanted to photograph the clothes in front of burned-out buildings.”

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Holiday Shopping, Round 1: Our mission--to search out, pay for (in cash) and schlep as many Hanukkah and Christmas gifts as humanly possible. We wouldn’t dream of boring you with the details of our mall-athon, but permit us to share a few insights:

1) Ask the salesclerk to remove those impossibly stubborn price stickers from the bottoms of your gift bags. It’ll take him several frustrating minutes, which you can spend daydreaming.

2) Buy all less-than-$10 presents for teachers, nieces, etc. at specialty gift stores--like Violette Emmons at the Westside Pavilion, where a lovely saleswoman wrapped our gifts in brown paper, raffia, tiny pine cones and red berries while we zoomed on our merry shopping way.

3) Don’t get diverted. Thank heavens for the sales crew in Nordstrom’s aptly named Savvy department. One look at our lipstick-less face and they knew not to bother with that old “Can I help you?” line. Who knows? We might have bought something for ourselves!

Inside Out is published Fridays.