Who Needs the Movie When We Have Promos?

In Kenneth Turan’s review of “Mrs. Doubtfire” (“A Kinder, Gentler Robin in ‘Doubtfire,’ ” Calendar, Nov. 24), he mentions that audiences won’t be disappointed. Well, I certainly won’t be, because that’s a film I don’t plan to pay for. I already know the story, and have already laughed aloud at all the best moments of humor.

Recently I sneaked out for a usually forbidden weekday matinee with a friend. It was the perfect single-woman’s birthday celebration, and she wanted to see “The Age of Innocence.”

I was amused when the previews of coming attractions included Robin Williams dancing with a broom, gazing adoringly at his children, looking believable-enough in drag. I nudged the birthday girl and said “that ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ looks like it could be good.”

Then I sat up straighter in my chair in anticipation of the next trailer, for “The Remains of the Day.” I had just enjoyed reading the book and was curious to see what they would do with its tender charms. In a few minutes I had to restrain myself from standing up and yelling, “This is going to be the greatest movie ever made.” I could tell from the vignettes presented that this was one of those rare occasions when the movie would improve upon the book.

During the days after that, I enjoyed a bombardment of TV teasers for “Remains,” with new scenes added along the way, until I wondered how much remained to be seen. I watched Anthony Hopkins drop that wine bottle on the stairs. Saw Emma Thompson reach out to him, trying to wrest a romantic novel from his grasp. Enjoyed a tour of the great house, gussied up for guests.

I hurried out to see the actual film the week it opened. To my dismay I found that not one moment of surprise had been left. Every scene had been ruined for me, and I’d already heard a big dose of the lush musical score. I’d already agonized at that decision to fire the housemaids, thrilled at the sunset over the coast, experienced the poignant moment when Emma rides her bike off through the rain.

I won’t make the same mistake with “Mrs. Doubtfire.” Thanks to the trailer in the theater and the nightly feast of TV promos, I have been exposed to enough scenes that my mind can merely shuffle all those snippets into some semblance of plot order and I will have seen the whole movie for free.

Producers used to complain that movie reviewers gave away too much of the plot in their newspaper articles, spoiling the films for viewers. Ironically, they now perform that treachery upon themselves. Lacking in originality and salesmanship, they steal from all the best the film itself has to offer and in a series of quick cuts, serve up a too-rich and too-satisfying hors d’oeuvre that ruins the main course.