It Isn’t All Ducky for Eisner as Euro Disney Lays an Egg
Michael Eisner made $550,000 last year . . . per day.
That’s right, Bunky. A half-million bucks every day, just for showing up to run the Walt Disney Co.
It’s not like he had to be Roseanne and Tom Arnold’s personal valet. Now, that would be earning $200 million a year the hard way.
And yet, Eisner is steamed. He’ll deny it publicly, but confidential internal Disney memos show that he is fuming over not receiving a bonus in addition to his other income.
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To: Michael D. Eisner
From: Compensation Committee
Date: March 5, 1993
Dear Mr. Eisner:
This is to inform you that our preliminary projections indicate you may not receive a bonus for 1993. We are advising you at this early date so as to cause you as little inconvenience as possible while planning vacations.
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To: Compensation Committee
From: Michael D. Eisner
Date: March 8, 1993
Dear Committee Members:
I received your memo of March 5. I assumed the information regarding the 1993 bonus was either a mistake or a joke. If it was the former, all is forgiven; if it was the latter, rest assured I enjoyed a hearty chuckle. I’m sure I don’t need to remind the committee what I have done for this company the last 10 years.
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To: Michael D. Eisner
From: Compensation Committee
Date: April 3, 1993
Dear Mr. Eisner:
We received your reply dated March 8. While we on the committee enjoy the occasional joke, our memo did not fall into that category. Our concerns were genuine, which, unfortunately, we now must restate with an even greater sense of urgency.
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To: Committee Members
From: Michael D. Eisner
Date: April 6, 1993
Dear Committee Members:
I received your memo of April 3 and instantly chucked it into the wastebasket fashioned after Pluto’s hunting headgear. Please refrain from sending me any subsequent memos that contain the phrase “not receive a bonus.”
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To: Michael D. Eisner
From: Committee Members
Date: July 29, 1993
Dear Mr. Eisner:
Thank you for stating your position so succinctly in your April 6 memo. Your sentiments are understandable, and we on this end wish we could greet them with better news. As you know, your bonus package is tied to return on shareholder equity, and projections are that the company will not meet the pre-agreed return level. Mid-year projections are that company revenues will drop considerably this year, due primarily to Euro Disney. After opening to much fanfare, the park has since gone into the, to use the vernacular, toilette. Who would have suspected the French would be so tight with a buck?
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To: Committee Members
From: Michael D. Eisner
Date: Aug. 4, 1993
I can’t believe you’re going to let the French do this to me. Why are you being so negative? What about the Mighty Ducks? They’re selling like crazy and the season hasn’t even started yet. I’m begging you, forget about France. Think Anaheim.
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To: Michael D. Eisner
From: Committee Members
Date: Sept. 9, 1993
The committee senses the anguish contained in your Aug. 4 memo. However, by our calculations, you will earn $200 million in 1993, even without a bonus. We spent many long hours among ourselves and couldn’t come up with any scenario in which a human being could possibly spend that much money, even in a lifetime. The committee hopes that information softens what we know has been a trying experience for you.
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To: Committee Members
From: Michael D. Eisner
Date: Oct. 19, 1993
You can take your calculations and stick them in your ear. However, should you find your position changing, perhaps I could arrange for some free Ducks tickets for the committee.
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To: Michael D. Eisner
From: Committee Members
Date: Nov. 30, 1993
Dear Mr. Eisner:
We apologize for not replying more quickly to your memo dated Oct. 19, regarding our calculations. What we feared might happen has happened. The 1993 bonus you so eagerly anticipated and richly deserve is, how shall we say it, “out the window.” Hoping this does not affect your earlier promise to us for free Ducks tickets, we wish you every success during this difficult period and remain your trusted colleagues.
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To: Committee Clucks
From Michael D. Eisner
Date: Dec. 2, 1993
You will live to regret your memo of Nov. 30. So, it’s “out the window,” is it? Aren’t you the clever ones? I was particularly amused by your apparently serious reference to free Ducks tickets. Hear this: Donald Duck will score a power-play goal before you so much as look at a free ticket.
Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by writing to him at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, Calif. 92626, or calling (714) 966-7821.
