Learning to Live With the Flaws : Television: Former ‘perfectionist’ ballerina Gelsey Kirkland makes her acting debut on an episode of ‘L.A. Law.’ She takes the risk in stride.

In her kiss-and-tell-all autobiography, “Dancing on My Grave,” onetime ballet star Gelsey Kirkland painted herself as a tormented perfectionist. Published in 1986, the book took the sheen off the pristine world of classical dance.

Kirkland seems much more relaxed now, as she talks of her approaching acting debut Thursday as a guest star on “L.A. Law.”

“As soon as you become afraid to make a fool of yourself, you’re in trouble. I decided I may as well just see if I can live with myself making millions of mistakes and learn something from it,” Kirkland said.

“Often, when you’ve reached a very high level of achievement, you almost become paralyzed by the idea that anything you might do might be imperfect. Perfection is just the striving, the effort, the struggle, but it’s hard to remember that. . . . This was one way to do it.”

Regarded as one of her generation’s greatest dramatic ballerinas, Kirkland, 41, will appear on “L.A. Law” in a non-autobiographical role as an aging, veteran ballerina who sues her Svengali-esque choreographer-boss for breach of contract: He’s not casting her anymore. She dons leotard and leg warmers for two brief dancing scenes.

In real life, the diminutive dancer made her last major appearance eight years ago in England, where she briefly guest-starred with the Royal Ballet.

That fall, she published her autobiography detailing her teen-age ascent to principal status with New York City Ballet, her subsequent coupling, on-stage and off, with Mikhail Baryshnikov at American Ballet Theatre, and her near-fatal descent into drug addiction and bulimia.

In 1990, she put out her second book, “The Shape of Love,” describing the Royal Ballet stint during which she began teaching and coaching, work she’s been pursuing ever since.

Carefully choosing her words during a phone interview from a Manhattan dance studio, Kirkland was nonetheless affably forthcoming about her acting debut, noting that she had just begun acting classes when the “L.A. Law” offer came in last fall.

Ironically, she said, the oddest part of filming was hitting the marks, as it’s called in Hollywood: Without looking, the actor must walk to, then stop at, an exact spot marked on the floor in front of the camera in order to appear in focus and properly lit.

“I suppose it’s equivalent to knowing where you are on stage without looking,” Kirkland said, but “at one point, I said, ‘Do you have some sort of neon tape that will glow?’ Of course, they came up with something for me.”

The short time span allotted to develop her “L.A. Law” character was likewise disconcerting, said Kirkland, who was known for meticulously investigating the psychology of every Giselle or Juliet she danced.

“I certainly did the best I could to fill (the character) out,” she said. “But I really wasn’t comparing it to dancing. I just concentrated on what I had to concentrate on, which is all you can do.”

During her dancing days, Kirkland also was known for her combustible temperament, which led to fights with management, and, in her perfectionistic artistic quest, a fearlessness at challenging choreographers. But she showed “not a hint” of any of that on the set and was open to guidance, according to “L.A. Law” director Dennis Dugan.

“She’s well aware of the performer-director relationship, and was very respectful of it,” Dugan said. “She’s a hard worker, and she did a great job.”

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Kirkland said she took up acting in the first place because she’d like to direct a ballet company. “The more you know in terms of theater, the more you have to work with.”

She also said she hopes the lessons will hone her coaching ability, as she believes today’s ballet lacks “a sense of theater” or attention to dramatic interpretation.

As for a future on the small or silver screen, the “L.A. Law” offer was “first and last so far,” she said with a laugh, and, while she wouldn’t sniff at others, her more immediate concern is learning “to become a decent actress.”

“It’s funny because a lot of people say, ‘but you already are an actress.’ In a certain sense that’s true, but with this you have another instrument you have to develop. . . . I didn’t get to speak with my toes this time, I had to use my diaphragm more.”

Making a movie or miniseries out of her books is another possibility, but there’s “nothing definite” to report, said Kirkland, who published her third book, a children’s story, last fall. Like the previous two, she wrote “The Little Ballerina and Her Horse” with her husband of almost nine years, Greg Lawrence.

Meanwhile, watching herself in a rough cut of Thursday’s “L.A. Law” drew the same reaction she always had when watching herself dance on video.

“You see the flaws . . . and it takes a while before you can take in the whole picture.”

In fact, she said, it took her about seven years before she could savor the televised production of ABT’s “Nutcracker,” a holiday perennial in which she stars opposite Baryshnikov.