Rainy Day a Perfect Time to Dust Cobwebs From Brain

The rain depresses me, but come to think of it so does bright sunshine. All of which makes it a perfect day for musing . . .

* Is there a more dynamic company in the country than Disney? Do they have a department over there entitled “Different Stuff We Can Do”? Even when their ideas are out of kilter, you have to give them credit for trying.

* Their Guns-for-Ducks tickets idea leaves me cold. Maybe those exchange programs do some good, but don’t your instincts tell you they’re kind of a farce?

* On the heels of that idea, however, Disney has announced a plan to set up youth hockey programs for kids from a couple of rough neighborhoods. A thumb way, way up for that idea.

* Speaking of thumbs, what could Roger Ebert of Siskel & Ebert fame possibly have been thinking when he called “Ace Ventura, Pet Detective” one of the worst movies he’s ever seen? Rog must have had his tight pants on that day; sure, the movie is silly and ridiculous, but that’s the whole idea and it’ll make you laugh. Most people in my theater sure were.

* Gee, I hate to say I told you so, but did you see that a state appeals court threw out the award for the Anaheim man who claimed his wife deceived him about love during their marriage? The justices rightly said the case had no place in court and was better left to advice columnists. I suggested in a column last April that bartenders would be the best sounding boards, but I’ll defer to the court’s vaster wisdom.

* So the Orange County district attorney is sending the Christmas Day shooting of one sheriff’s deputy by another to a grand jury, eh? For a case that was supposed to be open-and-shut, and without any of the standard ingredients for grand jury consideration, it’s an odd move. Clearly, the D.A.’s office just thinks this is a potato that’s too hot to handle. If they want to send this case to a grand jury, why not just establish a citizen review commission on police shootings and skip the middleman?

* Not a good week for the district attorney. The D.A.’s announcement that it’s tossing this to the grand jury comes on the same day an appeals court chastised the office for its handling of another high-profile case, the Thomas Gionis matter. Gionis was the ex-husband of John Wayne’s daughter, Aissa, and was convicted of hiring people to beat up her boyfriend. The appeals court overturned his conviction, citing prosecutorial misconduct.

* For the last couple years, I’ve heard people talking about how strong a candidate Kathleen Brown would be. Granted, I’ve only seen and read limited remarks from her as she cranks her bid for governor, but let’s just say I’m still waiting to see those signs of strength.

* Would you believe Gov. Re-Pete Wilson?

* OK, so I’m a flip-flopper. My initial reaction months ago was lackadaisical to the idea that voters decide the future of the El Toro base. Then, seeing how wanderingly inept the public officials were on the subject, I warmed up to the idea of putting it on the ballot. Now, however, I’m cooling again, fearing that a special election like this would draw a small turnout and be heavily influenced by those with a back-yard interest in the base. And this is, for certain, a countywide issue.

* However, if it does go to a vote, the issue should be thumbs up or thumbs down on a commercial airport. That’s the big-ticket emotional item with countywide impact. Putting that issue on the ballot by itself would focus attention on it. Then, if voters reject an airport, it would clear a lot of the dust away for public officials.

* ADD GUN EXCHANGE: Given the violence in the sport, I understand Anaheim cops are considering giving away free guns to any hockey player who turns in his stick.

* The only surprise I had after reading that convicted former legislator Paul Carpenter had fled the country was that more people don’t do it.

* I read once that the shortest period of elapsed time was that between a New York City light turning green and the guy in the car behind you honking his horn. For me, it would be the time between hearing a Michael Bolton song on the radio and me reaching to switch stations.

* THIS JUST IN: “Disney Announces Plan for Theme Park on the Moon.” “Don’t worry about transportation,” a Disney official said. “We’ll find a way to get you there and get you back home.”

* You’ve all seen the bumper stickers with things like, “My Child Is Student of the Month at Such-and-Such School.” Perhaps I have a problem, but I like the one that says, “My Kid Can Beat the Crap Out of Your Kid.”

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by writing to him at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, Calif. 92626, or calling (714) 966-7821.