CULTURE WATCH : Battery on Ice: Parody in Print

You remember them: Portland’s finest, the Olympic “Scheme Team.”

There’s Tonya Harding, who spent Wednesday earning unimpressive short-program scores in Lillehammer; Jolly Jeff Gillooly, last seen peddling topless video footage of his beloved ex-wife; and Shawn Eckardt (the bulging bodyguard) and Shane Stant--both charged with conspiracy in the Jan. 6 attack on Nancy Kerrigan in Detroit.

Now this lovable bunch is reunited on the pages of “WHACKED!--The Adventures of Tonya Harding and Her Pals,” a 32-page, full-color parody comic book to be published in March by The River Group of Westport, Conn. It will sell for $2.50, with the edition limited to “as many people who want to spend that much to buy it,” according to Alan Katz, who has written the text for this morality play commemorative.

Among the “scoops” you’ll find in “WHACKED!” is Tonya’s Family Scrapbook, featuring pictures of baby Tonya, right up to her first cigar.

There is also an “Ask Tonya” feature, where the U.S. National Figure Skating champion offers “true glimpses” of her innermost feelings.

Katz, who has also written for Disney’s “Goof Troop” as well as a collection of trading cards, said “WHACKED!” avoids tramping into total tastelessness because “there’s nothing here that you haven’t seen or heard on ‘A Current Affair’ or the evening news.”

He noted, too, that “WHACKED!” ends with a brief, but relatively sober discourse on winning and losing.