The firm: “I know that lawyers are...

The firm: “I know that lawyers are often intimidating,” began the note from Janie Schulman of L.A.

But, she opined, one set of panelists at a Labor and Employment Law Section Retreat “have gone overboard with their firm name.”

It’s Payne & Fears.



Maybe Clinton could use a second-grader on his staff: Valerie Williams Zarrillo asked her class of second-graders at John C. Fremont School in Glendale to write essays on the topic, “If I Were President for a Day.”

The students seemed to be up on current events, possibly more so than some of the President’s older advisers.

One student, Dustin Boxer, is obviously a close follower of Bill Clinton. Dustin wrote, in part: “In the afternoon I would eat a cheeseburger.”

Some other examples of political awareness:

* Whitewater influence: “I do taxes and read papers and then I watch the news again to see what happened.” (Emineh Noravian)

* The Reagan influence: “In the afternoon, I do my check signing. I take a nap.” (Jorge Alvarez)

* The Socks influence: “In the evening I would take a shower and I would get my bajamas on and I would get my cat--well, if the President is allowed.” (Michael Johnson)

* The Quayle influence: “In the evening working doing statistics on the computer and typing and doing papers and talking to the Vis President and testing him.” (Corey Golden)



Arkansas West?Phyllis Waggner found a classified ad in a Westside newspaper that seems to offer sanctuary to the First Family.

Abe! We’re shocked!We recently published a photo of some Downtown demonstrators standing alongside Abe Lincoln’s statue while brandishing signs that said, “Down with Dirty Movies” and “Hollywood Repent.” It was an inadvertent juxtaposition--the picketers were protesting the nearby Academy Awards, not Honest Abe.

At least, that’s what we wrote.


Imagine our surprise when we received a copy of the cover of Scientific American from Gerry Thompson of Arleta. It showed Honest Abe arm in arm with a grinning Marilyn Monroe. Monroe’s dress is blowing in the wind, allowing her to show a lot of leg (a lot of both legs, actually).

Did the demonstrators know something we didn’t? We’re a little hazy on American history but we don’t remember Monroe being involved with that President.

We felt better when we saw the magazine caption, which said: “Digital forgery can create photographic evidence for events that never happened.”

Even so, we’re happy the magazine didn’t show Abe in his bajamas.



The UCLA Sub Team and the HPS “Quicken” of Cal Poly Pomona are among the entries in the West Coast Human-Powered Submarine Invitational, scheduled for March 24-29 in Escondido. Pleasure-boaters need not fear a collision because Escondido is 15 miles inland. The competition will be staged in an area known as the Offshore Model Basin.