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Snip, snip, duck, duck: Jill Smith of...

Snip, snip, duck, duck: Jill Smith of Northridge wrote to alert us that a beauty salon recently opened inside the Northridge Pistol and Rifle Range.

Sure enough . . .

“The owner wanted to be in a unique location,” explained salon manager Renee Saunders. “It’s definitely a conversation piece.”

Chit-chat isn’t drowned out in the salon because it’s walled off. “The sounds are muffled,” Saunders said.

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She noted that many of her customers also use the shooting range. In fact, Saunders likes to fire off a few rounds herself.

“When you’ve had some real crotchety customers, it’s a good way to blow off steam after work,” she said.

The name of the salon, by the way, is Bang! Bang!

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Say ‘em again, Sam: The L.A. County Museum of Art recently showed several of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer’s most famous films to honor the 70th anniversary of the studio’s founding. But no celebration of MGM would be complete without a list of some of the unforgettable malapropisms and statements attributed to mogul Sam Goldwyn (1882-1974).

The envelope please:

* “Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.”

* “I read part of it all the way through.”

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* “In two words, im possible.”

* “A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”

* “Directors are always biting the hand that lays the golden egg.”

* “We have all passed a lot of water since then.”

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* And, perhaps his most famous: “Gentlemen, include me out.”

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A Goldwynesque reply: Vince Pavlicek wrote to a Cleveland company for some product information and, because of the problems that people from non-Southland regions have spelling Spanish place names, he was careful to say that his hometown is “L A space J O L L A.” You can see the result.

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Write-offs that tax the imagination: Ex-Angeleno Noelle Allen has just published “Confessions of a Tax Accountant,” which details some illustrious deductions claimed by her clients and others.

A Lamaze teacher, for instance, successfully wrote off the cost of her family room carpet, claiming it suffered wear and tear because of all the prospective dads and moms who lay on it during childbirth exercises.

Allen, a member of the California Society of Certified Public Accountants, also tells about the parishioner who listed innumerable contributions to one church. The IRS checked and found that the taxpayer had the canceled checks. The church’s minister confirmed their authenticity. The minister also mentioned that the parishioner was a coin collector and the checks covered his purchases of the coins left in the collection plates.

Thus, the IRS was correct in its original two-word assessment of the church-goer: Im possible.

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miscelLAny:

One of our favorite smorgasbords of an eatery is Tandoor Indian Food & Stan’s Donuts in Westwood. Tandoor, by the way, serves Vienna hot dogs and Haagen-Daaz ice cream. No curry-filled doughnuts, though.


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