Do you know where your kids are...

Do you know where your kids are this semester?Stressing that L.A. was a safe place to live, the other day L.A. County Dist. Atty. Gil Garcetti said: “I would not have my children living here if that were not the case.”

But, as the L.A. Daily Journal pointed out, Garcetti’s son is studying at Oxford while his daughter is a law student at Duke University in Chapel Hill, N.C.

We contacted Garcetti’s office and were told by spokeswoman Suzanne Childs: “He always thinks of them living here. They grew up here. They’re just away at college.”

Yup, far away.

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Tree score cards ready?As you can see from our photos, this is Only in L.A.’s special opening day baseball column.

What? The connection isn’t clear? Well, let’s lead off with No. 30, one of the famous Painted Number Trees on City Hall’s south lawn.

The ficus trees were so indexed before a Dodger championship celebration at City Hall because of the tendency of some over-exuberant fans to climb them for a better view. The thinking was that if any tumbled to the ground, police could alert paramedics where to go.

Alas, we don’t seem to have a need for Dodger--or Laker or Raider--championship celebrations anymore. But we still have those numbered trees.

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Next up--Jack Benny: Our other baseball symbol is the statue of the comic that greets visitors to the Epicenter, the home of the Quakes minor league baseball team in Rancho Cucamonga.

It is, in part, a tribute, as we previously mentioned, to a routine on Benny’s old radio show. But readers Rick Rofman and Lloyd Peyton point out that we misquoted the mythical train conductor on the program. What he shouted each week was:

“Train leaving on Track 5 for Anaheim, Azusa and KOOK-a-monga.”

Said Peyton of our boo-boo: “Benny must be whirling in his grave.”

If not on his pedestal.

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An endorsement that carries a lot of weight in a beach town: Malibu Councilman Walt Keller has been endorsed for reelection by actor Burgess Meredith, who was the Penguin on TV’s “Batman” series.

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Sounds like an Only in L.A. contributor: On a wall outside a house in West L.A., Randy Michel noticed a printed sign that said:

“Caution: Do not steal my newspaper. I am a crazy person. I may be watching you now, and may blow your head off with a shotgun!!! Quit sniveling, get a job and go buy your own!!!”

miscelLAny:

The L.A. bureau chief of Entertainment Weekly magazine is Cable Neuhaus.