A Night When 76ers’ Defense Parted Quicker Than Red Sea

From Keith Groller of the Allentown (Pa.) Morning Call:

“On a religious holiday and a night that the classic film ‘Ten Commandments’ was shown on television, it was kind of appropriate that 76er fans were chanting ‘Moses! Moses! Moses!’ Sunday night at Philadelphia’s Spectrum.

“Moses Malone, the player the fans were calling for, never played. Neither did most of the Sixers, although they did get on the court.”

The Boston Celtics routed Philadelphia, 135-112.

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for most rebounds in a game?

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Green pastures: Michael Jordan, on being assigned to the double-A Birmingham Barons of the Southern League:

“I think my skills are at that level. Plus, Birmingham has some nice golf courses.”

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Quiz: Columnist Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune offers this baseball test:

Chan Ho Park--”Korean pitcher or minor league stadium.”

Glenallen Hill--”Cub outfielder or winery?”

Carlos Delgado--”Toronto outfielder or cigar?”

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Dummy up: Ray Mercer, heavyweight contender, after being acquitted of making a midfight offer of $100,000 for an underdog opponent to take a dive:

“It will take two months to get in shape, and I’ll be back in the ring. And believe me, my lips won’t move.”

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Crowd con: During a second-quarter timeout Friday, it was announced that the Miami Heat was giving away 1,000 round-trip air tickets to any city in the country. The fans were told to look under their seats and that those who found a Heat logo would be winners.

As almost the entire crowd of 15,091 stood and checked, the public address announcer wished them a happy April Fool’s Day.

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Where’s the beef? “B.J. is a vegetarian, so I don’t think he has any beef at all,” Chicago Bull Coach Phil Jackson said when asked if guard B.J. Armstrong had a beef with how he is used.

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Newsmaker: “I thought this was odd,” David Letterman said. “Tonya Harding held a press conference and admitted she’d withheld information about Whitewater.”

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NBA, NFL style: Chicago’s Horace Grant recalling the once bitter rivalry between the Bulls and the Detroit Pistons, said: “In rivalries like that, you get Bill Laimbeer shots and Rick Mahorn elbows. I’m a physical player, but I don’t want to have to wear pads or helmets.”

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Trivia answer: Wilt Chamberlain, with 55 while playing for Philadelphia against Boston on Nov. 24, 1960.

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Quotebook: Jose Canseco of the Texas Rangers, on his outlook for this season: “My bat speed is amazing. I’ve got so much power now, it’s kind of scary.”