These Fairway Experts Become Fair-Weather Fans at Masters

Jeff Maggert’s wife, Kelli, didn’t see her husband’s double-eagle on the par-five, 485-yard 13th hole at the Masters on Sunday.

“Two guys were standing in front of me and one said, ‘Who is is this Jeff Maggert? He’s no good.’

“It made me angry, so I wasn’t watching his shot. Then, all of a sudden I heard this roar, so I go back to these two guys and say, ‘What do you think of him now?’

“One of them said, ‘Jeff Maggert is a great golfer.’ ”

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Trivia time: Who was the last player to win the Masters in his first appearance in the tournament?

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Bombs away: Plastic owls are standing guard high in the rafters of the Texas Rangers’ new stadium, the Ballpark at Arlington.

Their purpose? To scare off pigeons, who are dive-bombing on spectators.

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Rematch? From Rudy Martzke of USA Today: “ESPN2 is trying to arrange Jim Rome/Jim Everett2.”

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Try again: Some suggested names for the Toronto entry in the NBA starting in the 1995-96 season: Sauras Rex, Canadian Eh’s, the Naismiths, Mighty Dunks . . . and, no kidding, the Tallboys.

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Predators: Ernie Els of South Africa on golf instructors, in Golf World: “You see the practice ground out there? It’s an evil place. It’s full of so-called coaches waiting to pounce on young guys or players who have lost their form.

“They just hope they can make money out of them. You can see them . . . waiting to dish out their mumbo jumbo. I feel very sorry for those who are taken in because it can destroy everything that has brought them this far.

“To hell with coaches.”

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Deep thinker: Manager Hal McRae after the Kansas City Royals got off to an 0-3 start: “We haven’t won because we haven’t scored.”

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Fixer upper: Michael Jordan, now with the double-A Birmingham Barons, is looking for a house to rent. Something simple--four or five bedrooms and a price range of $3,000 to $5,000 a month.

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Trivia answer: Fuzzy Zoeller in 1979.

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Quotebook: Jay Leno, on George Mitchell’s post-Senate career options--baseball commissioner or Supreme Court justice: “Either way, he’ll probably get to meet Darryl Strawberry.”