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Now He Should Be Off to See Ozzie Smith

Will Clark, the former San Francisco Giant standout, now plays for the Texas Rangers and is, of course, wearing a new uniform--including red shoes.

“First time I put those things on,” Clark told Bruce Jenkins of the San Francisco Chronicle, “I felt like clicking my heels and yelling (high voice), ‘We’re going back to Kansas.’ ”

For the record, Toto isn’t with him.

Trivia time: What was Michael Jordan’s scoring average in NBA playoff games?

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Clip and save: The 100-yard dash, which is seldom contested now in the metric age, is on the program for the Penn Relays today.

Charley Greene, now 50, was asked by USA Today if his world record of 9.21 seconds, which he shares with Johnny Johnson, will be threatened.

“They’ll need a hurricane to get my stuff,” Greene said.

Rat pack: On the prospect of the Raiders moving to Orlando, Fla., Brian Schmitz of the Orlando Sentinel has this vision:

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“I can see it now. The mascot is the new Mickey Mouse, wearing an eye patch and an earring: The Raider Rat.”

Shrinking net: The New York Islanders scored only three goals against the New York Rangers while being swept in four games in an NHL Eastern Conference quarterfinal series. Mark Messier of the Rangers saluted his teammate, goalie Mike Richter:

“Last year, it was like everyone was shooting BBs at him and he was trying to guard a soccer net,” Messier told Kevin Paul Dupont of the Boston Globe. “Now the Islanders are trying to shoot a beach ball inside a net the size of a phone booth.”

Case closed: Jerome Holtzman of the Chicago Tribune reports, “The first rhubarb of the new (baseball) season is upon us. Should umpires wear sunglasses?”

Replied Eddie Vargo, supervisor of National League umpires: “No. We want them to look like umpires, not like Hollywood producers.”

Marty Springstead, Vargo’s American League counterpart, agrees: “If an umpire can’t handle the glare of the sun, he should get a job in a bank.”

New rules: After striking out the Giants’ Barry Bonds in a recent game, Florida Marlin relief pitcher Yorkis Perez was so excited that he pumped his fist and sprinted to the dugout. Embarrassingly, it was only the first out of the inning.

Said first baseman Orestes Destrade: “I was dumbfounded. I guess he figured striking out Barry Bonds is worth three outs.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1976, Muhammad Ali won a unanimous 15-round decision over Jimmy Young to retain his heavyweight championship.

Trivia answer: Jordan had a nine-year playoff average of 34.7 points.

Quotebook: Yogi Berra, when asked what he would do if he found a million dollars on the street: “I’d look for the guy who lost it, and if he were poor, I’d return it.”


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