Olajuwon Tries to Put Fear of God in ‘Hypocrite’ Ainge

Hakeem Olajuwon of the Houston Rockets regards Danny Ainge of the Phoenix Suns as an annoying mosquito.

“He plays little games,” Olajuwon told Chris Jenkins of the San Diego Union-Tribune. “Danny pulls you down, tries to trip you, throws the ball at you and then he pretends to be reasonable.

“He tries to fool people. He pretends to be a nice guy. When you do that, you are a hypocrite. I would advise him to be God-fearing.”

Ainge clone? Scott Hastings, a former NBA player and now a broadcaster for the Denver Nuggets, told the Rocky Mountain News that guard John Stockton of the Utah Jazz is “one of the dirtiest players in the league.”

“He’s the Danny Ainge of the ‘90s, without the reputation.”

Trivia time: What was Larry Brown’s coaching record at UCLA in 1979-80 and 1980-81?

P.R. coach: Buddy Ryan, Arizona Cardinal coach, told Jack Magruder of the Arizona Daily Star of the adjustment Barry Switzer must make as the new Dallas Cowboy coach:

“He didn’t coach much at Oklahoma. If he would have been hired on as a position coach, a linebacker coach, or something, (the Cowboys) would have been in trouble.

“In his system the assistant coaches do a lot of the coaching, anyway. He’ll do the people part of it just fine.”

Add Switzer: While coaching at Oklahoma in the mid-1970s, Switzer said he was once offered the head coaching job with the Kansas City Chiefs.

“I told them I had more first-round draft choices on my team than they did,” Switzer said.

Wrong juice: Before he snapped out of a hitting slump, the Pirates’ Andy Van Slyke said: “Everybody’s talking about the ball being juiced. The balls I’ve been hitting have prune juice in them.”

Time machine: Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune criticized the Lakers’ hiring of Del Harris as their coach:

“So the Lakers have gone from slicked-back Showtime to blue-haired Vaudeville. The ‘90s look . . . the 1890s. Instead of the Laker girls, they should bring in a barbershop quartet.”

M&M;’s: Dikembe Mutombo of the Denver Nuggets changed his autograph to DM--55 because he feared writer’s cramp.

He never considered signing his full name: Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean Jacque Wamutombo.

Just wondering: Mike Lupica of Newsday wrote: “How come Michael Jordan is a threat to baseball and the A.L. West isn’t?”

He has been around: Oriole closer Lee Smith told the Baltimore Sun that he doesn’t find extra motivation in facing the Red Sox and the Yankees, two of his former teams, in the same week.

“If that was the case, I’d be pumped up every place I went,” Smith said. “I’ve played near everywhere.”

FYI: The shortest hole played in a major golf championship is the 107-yard, par-three seventh hole at Pebble Beach.

Trivia answer: Brown’s two-year record was 42-17.

Quotebook: Minnesota Twin pitcher Jim Deshaies, on juiced baseballs: “I think a small band of owners broke into Fred MacMurray’s basement and stole the formula for Flubber.”