We always get these two mixed up--which...

We always get these two mixed up--which one’s the lawyer?In the June issue of Vanity Fair, Swedish super-model Vendela says her two heroes are Mother Teresa and Gloria Allred.

Presumably in that order.

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Singapore sling: Walter Seltzer noticed that the menu at Europa, a Sherman Oaks restaurant, contains a warning for dads and moms who let the kids run wild.

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Sure--he doesn’t have to buy from scalpers: Amid revelations that UCLA allowed one scalper to control 4% of the tickets for the last Rose Bowl game, the latest issue of UCLA Magazine coincidentally says of Chancellor Charles E. Young, “He has always been an active fan. He can been seen on the sidelines at the Rose Bowl and in the stands at Pauley Pavilion for basketball games.”

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At least the Southland has one world champion: We mean the Long Beach Little Leaguers, of course, whose 1992 and 1993 title seasons are profiled in “The Little Team That Could.” The book, by coach and ex-major leaguer Jeff Burroughs and Long Beach columnist Tom Hennessy, reveals:

* The team had two sleepwalkers, a pianist who could play Chopin, a player who pounded his bat on the plate to “summon up the home-run god” and a pitcher who was too nearsighted to read the catcher’s signals.

* Little League World Series rules prohibit players from eating sunflower seeds.

* When the team was asked to donate items to a fund-raising auction, one player, whose parents objected to the time he spent on the bench, contributed a handful of splinters.

* The Filipino team, which forfeited its 1992 title because several players were older than 12, including some who reportedly had body hair removed, wasn’t the only suspicious entry. The Dominican Republic’s players, viewed in the shower, “looked like managers and coaches . . . anatomically speaking,” the authors say.

* The Filipino reporter whose articles led to his country’s forfeit was awarded a key to the city of Long Beach.

* There were several emotional moments, such as the time Burroughs became teary-eyed while speaking before the team’s last game. Kevin Miller, one of the players, interjected: “Gee, coach, get ahold of yourself. I mean, what a dork!”

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A must for any U.S. worker: Public television station KLCS, as part of an educational series for viewers learning English as a second language, devoted one recent show to the process of calling in sick to work.

Billboard bungle: A while back, Robert Sharp of Pasadena pointed out to Only in L.A. the muddled logic of a Downtown residential complex, whose billboard proclaimed: “If you can read this sign, you’d be home now.” The sign, Sharp reported, was subsequently changed to read: “If you lived here, you’d be home now.” Which makes more sense--not a lot, but more.

miscelLAny:

John M. Wilson of West Hollywood sent along a correction in Publisher’s Weekly that said, “The ‘Buns of Steel’ video series is put out by the Maier Group, and the ‘Buns of Steel Total Body Workout’ is being written by Leisa Hart and Liz Neporant.” Glad we got to the bottom of that.