Coming Attractions

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With the latest success of such films as “The Flintstones” and “Maverick,” Hollywood no doubt will continue its frantic rush to make into a movie virtually every old television show that ever aired.

With everything from “Gomer Pyle” to “Green Acres” now being developed, the number of available remakes may soon dry up. Should that happen, there is an ample list of failed TV pilots that could inspire a potential blockbuster.

Here are a few of them, courtesy of the book “Unsold Television Pilots 1955 through 1988” by Lee Goldberg:


* “Zsa Zsa in Paris,” a comedy starring Zsa Zsa Gabor as an advice columnist in Paris.

* “Attorney General,” a show based on files from the California attorney general’s office.

* “Hollywood Angel,” about “a suave Hollywood publicist who is also a private eye.”

* “Wake Up, Stupid,” about an ex-prizefighter turned college professor.

* “Oh Johnny,” in which “Johnny Carson stars as the leader of an all-girl orchestra touring the world.”

Home Improvement

The Robb Report magazine for the rich and famous lists in its current issue the results of a poll on things its readers consider to be the best, from Rolex watches to Tony Lama cowboy boots.

One of the more intriguing categories is “best improvement to the home.”

Some of the reader responses included “motion detector lights,” an “underground gun range,” “surveillance cameras” and “my new wife.”

Meeting of the Minds

More convention business headed for Los Angeles. . .

July brings the “3rd Annual Brain and Mind Symposium” at the Viscount Hotel near Los Angeles International Airport.

Among the highlights are talks on bending spoons with your mind, “Breaking Psychic DNA Memories” and “UFO Light Therapy Techniques.”

A Bank’s Strange Account

Financial institutions have been scrambling to offer new services to generate revenue, but a Santa Barbara bank is clearly on the cutting edge.


Santa Barbara Bank & Trust boasts in its current ads about how it helped a woman correct her birth certificate that mistakenly listed her as a male for 65 years.

Seems notary services over the years demanded the woman produce two valid IDs before they would correct the mistake, but she only had one.

The bank says it only required one ID because a bank officer knew the woman’s daughter and granddaughter.

Briefly. . .

A Florida company is selling for $895 a 1968 document signed by the late Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. . . . The Learning Annex offers a seminar this month titled “Escape from L.A.”