COMEDY : A Woman’s Place Is on Stage : Two Headliners Take Men, Society to Task

In a recent interview, a female comedian was mentioning how tough it is to achieve headliner status and how many clubs are reluctant to book female comics. Generally, a check of local club schedules bears her out. But not this month.

Headlining at Fullerton’s Standing Room Only through Sunday is Margaret Smith, while at the Irvine Improv, Diana Jordan is the main act Monday.

Both are funny enough to top a bill, but the similarities mostly end there.

Jordan, energetic and all over the stage, prides herself on giving women a distinctive voice, particularly pointing out male shortcomings. Smith, with the deadpan delivery of a career grouch, speaks for everybody, lamenting society’s sorry state in general.

The dry-witted Smith has come a long way since she started doing stand-up in New York in the early ‘80s, when a club owner asked her not to come back, even though she was working for free. Combining talent and perseverance, the Chicago native eventually landed late-night spots with Letterman and Leno as well as movie roles in “Goodfellas” and a remake of “The Blob.”

Along the way, she honed this semi-signature bit about her father, whom she describes in her act as a vain, alcoholic gambler.

“So one day he gave up his vices to save enough money for a hair transplant. Then, after the transplant was complete, he got drunk, and on a $20 bet, shaved his head. . . . So I guess I owe him $20.”

Besides her father, Smith’s act touches on her dysfunctional family, being in therapy, women’s health care and politics.

Jordan’s routine isn’t so eclectic. She’s more concerned with man’s inhumanity to woman. Men, she contends, need help. And luckily for them, she gives advice freely.

Her recently published book, “A Wife’s Little Instruction Book,” has several tips to make a relationship succeed, including:

* “If his wallet contains more pictures of his kids than of Ben Franklin, Abe Lincoln and George Washington, that means his ex-wife got all their pictures.

* “Don’t marry a man who refers to the rehearsal dinner as ‘The Last Supper.’ ”

Jordan, who was nominated for “Best Female Stand-Up Comedian” in 1991’s American Comedy Awards, turned to jokes in the early ‘80s when she found the asides she was slipping in between her songs in Las Vegas casinos were getting better responses than the songs.

In Irvine, she will be performing “Female, Fertile and Frustrated,” her one-woman show that features comedy with a bit of singing and dancing mixed in.

“I wanted to do a one-woman show, something different than just stand-up,” she told The Times last autumn. “I wanted something that would show my acting skills.”

In addition to writing (she’s also planning on turning “Female, Fertile and Frustrated” into a book) and doing comedy, Jordan is working on a sitcom for CBS this spring. The show is based on her “Female, Fertile and Frustrated” character.

Who: Margaret Smith.

When: Today, June 9, and Sunday, June 12, at 8 p.m.; Friday and Saturday at 8 and 10:15 p.m.

Where: Standing Room Only, 126 W. Orangethorpe Ave., Fullerton.

Whereabouts: Interstate 5 to the Euclid Street exit. Go north on Euclid, then right on Orangethorpe.

Wherewithal: $8 to $10.

Where to call: (714) 870-4400.

Who: Diana Jordan.

When: Monday, June 13, at 8:30 p.m.

Where: Irvine Improv, 4255 Campus Drive, Irvine.

Whereabouts: San Diego (405) Freeway to the Jamboree Road exit and head south. Turn left on to Campus Drive. The Improv is in the Irvine Marketplace shopping center.

Wherewithal: $10.

Where to call: (714) 854-5455.