Parenting : The Inevitable Question : Inquiries about sex and reproduction are natural. Experts advise taking children’s cues to give answers they are ready to handle.

One day, out of the blue, it comes, the question all parents must eventually face: “Where do babies come from?”

You hem and haw. You stall. Is it possible to be prepared?

Not only possible but necessary, experts say--and the sooner the better. Inquiries that concern sex and reproduction are a natural part of growing up, and children as young as 3 may already be looking for answers.

“Every child is different,” said Dr. Pamela Davis, a pediatrician who heads the Family Practice Residency Program at Northridge Hospital Medical Center. “But no matter what age the child is, most parents I talk to are surprised when their children first ask them about something that has to do with sex.”

In general, Davis believes, “Children aren’t looking for complex answers. Once parents understand that, they’re more at ease.”

Davis said there are many opportunities for parents--comfortable and reluctant ones alike--to gauge their child’s readiness for information. The presence of family pets or the impending birth of another child can often serve as springboards for non-threatening discussion.

“Both of those situations are good opportunities to talk about where babies come from,” Davis said. “Pets especially give you a good opportunity to talk about how animals have babies, because the child may actually see the puppies or kittens.”

Dr. Willa Olsen, a Northridge pediatrician, said it’s important to let children dictate how much information they are really ready to receive. “The questions a child asks pretty much tells you where they are in their own development,” Olsen said. “If you start to inform them about some things too early, you’ll frighten them.”

She added, “Regardless of what age they are, one of the most important things to me is that parents use the proper names for whatever it is they are talking about. I’m amazed at some of the terms that parents pass on to their children because they’re embarrassed to say certain words. That only makes it harder to explain things as a child gets older.”

To help put both parents and children at ease, many pediatricians recommend that they share with their child an easy-to-understand book about reproduction.

According to Marjorie Kassorla, manager of Pages Books for Children and Young Adults in Tarzana, there are many excellent titles--written for youngsters of all ages--to choose from.

“Where Do Babies Come From?” by Margaret Sheffield (Knopf, $19), “How Babies Are Made,” by Andrew C. Andry and Steven Schepp (Little Brown, $9.95) and “Being Born,” by Sheila Kitzinger, with photographs by Lennart Nilsson (Putnam & Grosset, $11.95), are some of most popular books on the subject.

“Parents with younger children ask for these because they make things easy to understand,” Kassorla said. She added that there are also more advanced books that parents can consider as their children approach puberty.

Experts agree that the key to forging an open line of communication about sex with future teen-agers is to establish a comfort level--for both parents and children--when they are younger.

“The most important thing is to not push the children, no matter what age, if they’re not interested,” Davis said. “Take their cue. If they’re not ready, close the book and put it away until next time. When they get to the next developmental stage, you can bring the book back out and move on to another level of understanding.”