WORLD CUP USA ’94 / THE FIRST ROUND : SPOTLIGHT : HOW TO AVOID BEING AN UGLY AMERICAN

The World Cup USA 1994 Protocol Manual offers tips for Americans on how to better communicate with foreigners during the month-long tournament.

A sampling:

--”Avoid using slang, speaking loudly or calling undue attention to yourself.”

Comment: Ya’ll think this’ll be a problem in Dallas, home of “Da Boys” and best dadgum city on the planet?

--”When possible, speak in metric terms. The majority of the world now deals in terms of the metric system.”

Comment: When pigs fly.

--”Give compliments with sincerity and receive them with modesty. Americans are sometimes perceived to be ‘gushy’ and ‘phony.’ ”

Comment: Sometimes referred to as “The Arsenio Hall proviso.”