PRO FOOTBALL: 49ERS 34, RAMS 19 : Ram Review

First Quarter: It’s Throw Back Day in Anaheim Stadium and understandably Wayne Gandy is nervous . . . Rams elect to keep John Wayne Gandy, The Natural Born Drive Killer, lose TD because he fails to report to official that he’s in game, notify Gandy he has permission to leave early and catch Mighty Ducks exhibition contest across the street . . . Chuck Knox follows media’s advice, gets ball to Troy Drayton, Rams score. Knox asks team to install direct phone line to pressbox to gain further insight . . . Neon Deion Sanders steps on field for first time, Rams counter with Howard Griffith . . . 49ers 10, Rams 7.

Second Quarter: Screen pass to Drayton requires Ram offensive linemen to act as if they’ve been beaten at line of scrimmage. Talk about typecasting . . . Quiz Show contestant search: What’s the difference between No. 80 for the Rams and No. 80 for the 49ers? 127 touchdowns . . . Ref flags Chris Miller for intentional grounding; Miller protests, points out correctly that it looks like all his other passes . . . 49ers 17, Rams 10.

Third Quarter: Charlie Hough now playing quarterback for the Rams . . . Miller denies he’s hurt, which forces team to add lie detector to list of equipment required for next game . . . Judge extends deadline for Darryl Henley to come up with $40,000 in bail money, which begs for the question: Did judge have John Taylor on his fantasy football team? . . . Shane Conlan walks around as if there’s a thumbtack in his shoe, but leads team in tackles . . . Don’t Rams, 49ers have same number of players, same amount of money to spend under salary cap? 49ers 20, Rams 10.

Fourth Quarter: Maryland Governor in town to meet with Ram management, reportedly skipped game, which makes him no different than most Ram fans . . . Chris Chandler now at quarterback for the Rams--CBS, NBC and ABC refuse to break into local programming with late-breaking news . . . Chandler’s first pass goes to Jessie Hester, Hester fumbles; Raiders learned long ago: don’t throw ball to Hester . . . Newspapers reported this week that long-time investigation shows Elvis is still alive; committee will now try to locate Flipper. 49ers 34, Rams 19.

Game Summary: Rams fail to sell out 49ers’ game, cite advance word that Keith Loneker would be unable to play as main reason . . . Knox expected to ask media later this week who should start at quarterback if Rams are to have any chance of winning? . . . Media’s response: Steve Bono.