Well, Here’s to You, Mrs. Robinson

Is there anything more nerve-racking and uncomfortable than a first date? In the new film “What Happened Was . . . ,” writer/director/co-star Tom Noonan focuses a microscope on one such encounter and details all of its pitfalls with excruciating accuracy. But then, first dates have been fodder for film exaggeration for some time, as these examples show.

‘The Graduate’ (1967)

The setup: A young man’s (Dustin Hoffman) parents convince him to ask out their friends’ daughter (Katherine Ross), unaware that he is already sleeping with her mother (Anne Bancroft).

He: Is filled with dread at the prospect of crossing the mother.

She: Is oblivious to all of the forces at work on him.

First hint of trouble: He drives like a maniac and refuses to talk.

Disaster brewing: He walks so fast that she can hardly keep up.

Apocalypse now: He takes her to a strip-joint; as a stripper twirls her tassels over his date’s head, he asks, “Can you do that?”

Prognosis for the future: Extensive therapy for both (after he interrupts her wedding and gets her to run away with him).

‘After Hours’ (1985)

The setup: Lonely young clerk (Griffin Dunne) in New York meets enticing young woman (Rosanna Arquette) at a coffee shop; she gives him her phone number and they make a date.

He: Thinks he’s about to get lucky.

She: Apparently has other things on her mind.

First hint of trouble: On the taxi ride downtown, his last $20 blows out the cab window.

Disaster brewing: Date (Arquette) turns up dead, while her foxy roommate is in the other room, sculpting topless.

Apocalypse now: Trapped without a cent in Lower Manhattan, he finds himself on the run from a pack of vigilantes who think he killed Arquette.

Prognosis for the future: If he’s lucky, he’ll survive to attend her funeral.

‘Blind Date’ (1987)

The setup: Hard-up overachiever (Bruce Willis) is fixed up with a gorgeous young woman (Kim Basinger) for a business dinner.

He: Is concerned about making a good impression on his boss.

She: Suffers from extreme behavior after ingesting any alcohol.

First hint of trouble: Her psychotic ex shows up at a gallery opening and attacks Willis.

Disaster brewing: She gets drunk and embarrasses Willis in front of his boss and a client at the crucial business dinner.

Apocalypse now: Her antics cause him to get into fights, to have his car wrecked, to lose his job and, finally, to be arrested.

Prognosis for the future: A romantic relationship based on a 12-step program.

‘Mystery Date’ (1991)

The setup: Cool older brother (Brian McNamara) lends shy younger sibling (Ethan Hawke) his credit cards, his car and his wardrobe for first date with dreamy neighbor (Teri Polo).

He: Is continually mistaken for his brother, who is leading a secret life of crime.

She: Doesn’t know she’s in danger and thinks she’s having fun.

First hint of trouble: Several women mistake him for his brother--and slap him.

Disaster brewing: He finds a corpse in the trunk of his brother’s car and accidentally kills a plainclothes cop.

Apocalypse now: Cops hunt him as a murderer; crime lord kidnaps his date and demands the return of missing vase and incriminating audiotape.

Prognosis for the future: Sharing a life-threatening situation creates sense of intimacy--isn’t that what they said in “Speed”?

‘What Happened Was . . . ‘ (1994)

The setup: Two co-workers at a law firm get together at her apartment for dinner--their first such meeting outside the office.

He: Is a cross between Lurch and Oscar Levant--a tall, hulking guy who’d be menacing if it weren’t for that doofy smirk.

She: Mistakenly assumes that his superior attitude is a mark of actual superiority.

The first hint of trouble: He tells her the word seafood strikes him as “creepy”; she tells him his nickname at the office is “Mr. Strange.”

Disaster brewing: She reads aloud from the children’s book she wrote--which turns out to be not your typical children’s fare.

Apocalypse now: Will they sleep together? Or will their ingrained eccentricities keep them apart?

Prognosis for the future: Potential for uncomfortable chance encounters at the Xerox machine.