Taking a Ride on the Wild Side of the County

Staff writer Jeff Meyers and photographer Alan Hagman have been a bit hard to live with since they returned from their trip to the Sespe Wilderness. Just because they went into the rugged outback and stared danger in the face without blinking, they figure that the rest of us are supposed to be really impressed.

Just hear what Meyers had to say about his trip: “I hope readers come away from the story appreciating the Sespe for its natural treasures--and also fearing it for its ever-present dangers. I think it’s clear that the wilderness doesn’t tolerate beginners. Trails are difficult to follow and weather can turn hostile in a hurry.”

What does Meyers think, that the rest of us weren’t meeting our own survivalist challenge? While he pranced through the wild, we were in heavy training--stuffing down extra calories and hacking our way through malls--getting ready for the serious competitive eating and shopping we’ll need to do in the weeks ahead. Meyers and Hagman were just fighting the elements. How many cologne sprayers did they have to dodge?

“The only way to hit the Sespe’s highlights in just three days was to take a whirlwind tour,” Meyers said. “Guide Tony Alvis kept pushing the pace. He presided over a forced march that kept me in the saddle for hours at a time. I experienced embarrassing epidermal reactions to the constant pounding. The situation was not helped by my horse, a 12-year-old gelding named Pinto that insisted on breaking into a trot without any prodding from me.”

But if you read his story, you’ll also find out that the meals were catered by one of Ventura’s best chefs, while back at the mall, most shoppers were forced to choose between a burger and a hot dog on a stick. And often we had to eat them standing or riding on packed escalators, while Meyers had nothing but solid ground and wide open spaces.

“I’ll never forget the 2 1/2-hour journey back from Sespe Hot Springs on a moonless night,” said Meyers. “Somehow, Pinto didn’t walk off the edge of a sheer mountain trail and plunge a few hundred feet to our mutual death.”

Meyers may be fine teetering on a horse while the horse teeters on the edge of a cliff, but I’d like to see him at the after-holiday sales going one-on-one with a seasoned shopper. He may think that he’s tough, but he’s going to lose in the tussle over that half-price sweater.

And think about it: How much time will he actually be spending in the wilderness anyway? Then compare that to the time he’ll spend fighting for parking and jostling for position at the gas pump and the checkout stand. Some people know nothing about real life skills.