Savage or Sensitive--Choose One : Dr. Dre, Ice Cube and Boyz II Men are poles apart on the macho scale, but real close on the S&V; scale.

You remember Goofus and Gallant, don’t you? These childhood paragons of vice and virtue, respectively, have spoken to us for decades from the pages of Highlights for Children in the pediatrician’s waiting room, teaching right from wrong with the most extreme examples. Of course, what kid didn’t secretly wish to be the thoughtlessly malfeasant Goofus and not that obsequious Gallant?

The adult choices aren’t always much less black and white. Books and seminars on “masculinity” today tell us that men grew up without reasonable, balanced role models, to explain why all too many wind up veering toward the extremes of untempered savagery or inordinately passive sensitivity: the pugilist or the pleaser.

Which brings us, finally, to this month’s spotlighted music videos:

Dr. Dre and Ice Cube, partnering on “Natural Born Killaz,” indulge in a mega-macho kill-spree fantasy that, for cynical kicks, includes loving re-enactments of the Simpson-Goldman murders.

In sharp relief, lover boys Boyz II Men, with “On Bended Knee,” enact a please -forgive-me-baby scenario so exaggeratedly repentant you’d swear they were playing it for laughs, not tears.

Yes, MTV has its own Goofus and Gallant. One bludgeons, the other blubbers.

These two role-modeling poles bring up the bottom of this month’s Sound & Vision column, in which current pop videos are reviewed and rated on a 0-100 scale.

Weezer, “Buddy Holly.” “Happy Days” are here again--quite literally in this ingeniously silly clip, which has postmodern Weezer bewigged at Arnold’s pre-modern ‘50s malt shop, doing a set for Richie, Joanie, et al. By the climax, Fonzie is so moved by this untimely alternative-ness that he breaks into a precursor to the break-dance, right in cue with the tune.

The new photography has been so seamlessly matched with the vintage sitcom reaction shots that you may come away with the delusion that Weezer was digitally inserted into the ‘70s footage, when it’s just savvy editing. (Although, if you’re paying attention, diner proprietor Al Molinaro does make a cameo in the new stock.)

Director Spike Jonze (the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage”) is making quite the video cottage industry out of the ‘70s; he knows the way to a baby-buster’s heart. 81

Sam Phillips, “Baby I Can’t Please You.” Though Phillips’ 1960s-flavored pop-raga lament sounds like a bitter love ballad, it was actually written as a metaphoric rag on the American right, whose socially controlling policies, as she would have it, mirror a possessive lover’s.

The singer shares her screen time with a surveillance narrative amid scattered images of North, Limbaugh, etc. Obvious enough, but this gets confusing when the video so often runs under the “Melrose Place” closing credits on Mondays; you keep thinking that it’s a teaser revealing Jerry Falwell as Amanda’s real father. 68

Cranberries, “Zombie.” Where U2 left off, the Cranberries mean to pick up, with shots of Irish Republican Army-repelling soldiers manning the mean streets to let us know that for their divided homeland, the Sunday, bloody Sunday never ends.

But then there are the cutaways to a more symbolic motif, with Dolores O’Riordan aglitter in front of a cross, surrounded by arrow-wielding cherubim, all spray-painted silver. Someone might have warned the singer that there are more communicative ways to deliver such a soberly intended message than adorned with full body paint. We’re supposed to be mourning the fighting Irish, but all O’Riordan can make us think of is . . . Gold- fing -uhh! 54

Madonna, “Take a Bow.” Madonna and a Spanish bullfighter (played by a real Spanish bullfighter and not Antonio Banderas, to her chagrin, we’re sure) indulge in a tragic love affair. So tragic that she takes to watching his bouts on TV while she writhes in bed and takes a bow toward her own nether regions. In the silliest shot, she actually pulls the sheet over herself and the TV set.

Less sexy still is the flashback sex sequence, which juxtaposes the sword-wielding bullfighter’s brutal penetration of his adversary with, uh . . . well, you know. Montage--you gotta love it. 52

Mariah Carey, “All I Want for Christmas.” There’s a reason this video has no director credit: It’s literally last year’s home movies. By now, most of us have accidentally taped a “Seinfeld” episode over the video preserving the previous Christmas’ present opening; not Carey, who eschews lip-syncing in favor of random scenes of snow rollicking and gift unwrapping. We’re not quite sure whether it’s impressive or scary that she looks as phenomenal (and preens as much) on an actual Christmas morning as on a studio shoot. 45

Boyz II Men, “On Bended Knee.” A little apology goes a long way--but not with these four, who milk penitence past the point of simpering. It’s the ultimate pre-feminist female fantasy: Four fellahs who’ve done nothing worse than concentrate on work, at the expense of nurturing relationships, beg forgiveness from their significant others for not having been as sensitive as they ought, collectively uttering please more times than James Brown ever dreamed of.

Many knees are bent, a few tears are shed, and the Boyz vie for the title of the ultimate “chick band.” Get thee to a sweat lodge? 39

Dr. Dre and Ice Cube, “Natural Born Killaz.” At last, these two star rappers have given O. J. Simpson the alibi he needs: We did it. (Uh, thanks, guys, and we’re sure Robert Shapiro will be in touch.)

But seriously, folks: True, we’ve been so saturated with the shock value of these two portraying themselves slaughtering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman that it barely registers as distasteful anymore. But their thundering insensitivity is still worth the small modicum of outrage we can muster at this desensitized late date.

Cube and Dre can claim till the cows come home that they’re doing a topical take on Oliver Stone territory. But if it were their family, would it be so funny to see, say, Glenn Danzig and the Slayer dude pretending to gut the loved ones? 3