COVER STORY : The Child as a Spectator : A restless youngster can spoil a play or concert, yet outings can succeed with some preparation--and if parents are willing to leave the show early.

The holiday season is a time of family togetherness, a time when parents across the country get visions of their little sugarplums, decked out in their holiday velvet and lace, sitting quietly and attentively at a live performance of “A Christmas Carol” or “The Nutcracker Suite.”

If you are one of those parents anticipating your child’s awe at a holiday perennial, you might want to think twice before plunking down a lot of money on tickets to any show that involves real people on stage with an audience of people who also spent big bucks on tickets.

“Taking a child to a live event really depends on the child’s attention span, what the seating is like and how the group is arranged,” says Jim Ruggirello, director of educational programs for the Los Angeles Philharmonic.

“Parents also need to think as much about the surrounding audience as what is best for their child,” Ruggirello says.

Evelyn Guerboian of Tarzana agrees. She recently took her daughter, Natalie, 9, to her first live performance--a production of “The Nutcracker” by the Los Angeles Chamber Ballet at the Luckman Fine Arts Complex at Cal State Los Angeles. She chose that production, she says, because “it’s a Christmas story, and it’s a good one for her to get started into seeing live performances. You don’t want to make a mistake of taking them to one that they don’t enjoy and then it leaves a bad taste in their mouths.”

Anyone who has dealt with children and the performing arts will advise, most importantly, that parents first consider their own child.

Is he or she really going to sit rapt for two hours or more? Or is your child the one with the vibrator under the seat who has to go potty every 10 minutes, not out of real need but because flushing the toilet is a blast?

Maria Gutierrez of Cudahy, who recently took her nieces, Jordan, 3, and Breanna Fitzgerald, 5, to “The Nutcracker” for the first time, said prior to the show that she hoped they would “sit still for two hours. This is an experiment.”

Will your child truly enjoy a ballet, a classical concert or a Broadway production? Or is yours the one who would prefer a shopping mall appearance of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers or a rock concert?

“There is definitely an age where it’s not appropriate to take a child to the theater,” says Renee Miller, marketing director for Baltimore-based Baci Management Inc., a theater company that books performances at the Pasadena Civic Center.

“A 2- or 3-year-old can’t sit through an entire performance,” Miller adds. “I don’t care if it’s ‘Sesame Street on Ice.’ ”

Mark and Alyse Zwickel of Los Angeles, however, say they had luck taking their daughter Sarah, 2, to live shows, including a “Sesame Street” production and “Beauty and the Beast.”

What was their secret?

“Prepare them in the morning,” Mark Zwickel advises. “Tell them what they’re going to see. Get them excited about it. And be prepared to leave so you don’t disrupt anybody else if they’re not enjoying it.”

Alyse Zwickel adds: “And bring snacks.”

While taking such a young child to a live performance may not be the best idea, there is nothing wrong with exposing youngsters to the arts at a very early age.

“I think a child can’t be too young to start listening to music,” says Herbert (Sonny) Ausman, a trombonist with the L.A. Philharmonic and daddy to 3-year-old Amanda and 18-month-old Emma.

Since Ausman’s wife, Erica, used to work for the Philharmonic, music is a family affair, and their Toluca Lake household is naturally filled with music.

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“We’re always playing music around here,” Ausman says. “You can start playing music for them as early as you can. It sure wouldn’t hurt a child to listen to music when he or she is in the womb.”

Although the Ausmans routinely take both girls to orchestra rehearsals, Sonny Ausman feels they are far too young to attend a full-scale concert. “The child should be old enough to be quiet, about 8 or 10,” he says. “Of course, it depends upon the child.”

Still, just about anyone in the performing arts believes it is important to encourage youngsters to enjoy live performances.

“Take children to performances where other children are performing,” advises Norine Xavier, artistic director of the West Coast Dance Theater in Reseda. “Children gravitate to other children performing. Kids want to see other kids perform; they use them as role models.”

Annette Cutrono of Venice did just that, bringing her younger children, Alina, 7, and Lucca, 4, to “The Nutcracker” for the first time to see their older sister, Lily, dancing in the production.

Normally, she says, she would have left Lucca at home “because he can’t pay attention for that long.”

“I think he’ll be OK today because Lily’s in it and it’s colorful.”

Sidney Shimabukuro of Moorpark and his son, Grant, 5, were also attending the holiday ballet to see an older child in the production.

“My daughter is performing today, so he gets to go a lot,” Shimabukuro says. “It’s the second or third time. He’s well behaved.”

“If parents start preparing the child before the performance, letting him know what to expect--what’s going to be going on--that seems to help,” he says.

In fact, says Suzanne Haffamier, owner and artistic director of the Performing Arts Institute in Canoga Park, that’s why “The Nutcracker” is such a family favorite.

“ ‘The Nutcracker’ is a good ballet for children because it is a pretty, colorful story with a happy ending and the children really get into it,” Haffamier says. “But a lot of ballets are very abstract.”

Ruggirello advises parents to start out with programs that are specifically geared toward children. “Parents should ask how long the presentation is, where the children sit,” he says.

“We had a program for 3-, 4- and 5-year-olds,” Ruggirello says. “It really never had the impact we wanted because the theater seats were too big for small children. So we moved the chamber orchestra into the lobby. The kids sit on the floor with their parents.

“We found their attention span was equal to if not better than the older children because it was so immediate to what was going on,” Ruggirello adds. “I want to see someone sitting quietly because he is so interested in the music he forgot to misbehave.”

Patricia Del Rosario of West Covina says she frequently takes her children, Janelle, 4, and Alennie, 11, to live performances, including the Los Angeles Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl and the Joffrey Ballet.

“They love it,” she says. “They enjoy that very much.”

As children grow older, theater opportunities expand. Broadway shows and musicals--with the combined experience of music, dance and drama--are especially appealing.

“A lot of shows are issue-oriented,” says theater marketing director Miller. “ ‘Angels in America’ is dealing with AIDS, for example. It’s a very mature topic, and it might be inappropriate to take your child under a certain age to such a play.

“But there are wonderful shows like ‘Oliver’ and ‘Annie’ that are perfect for children,” Miller adds.

In addition, Miller says, many production companies have recognized the importance of the younger audience and are now providing study guides that will prepare them for the performance.

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“The more a parent prepares a child for the production, the more the child will get out of it,” Miller says. “Preparing children also stimulates them to get excited about the performance. Make sure the child is familiar with the music. It is much more exciting to know what you’re watching.”

Caroline Azluz of Los Angeles agrees. “It’s good to have them acquainted with whatever it is they’re going to see, so that they can relate to it,” says Azluz, who has taken her sons, Albert, 7, and Oliver, 4, to several live performances. “If it’s an adult subject, sometimes they get lost in the story line. So, you need to give them a children’s idea of what it’s about.”

For many youngsters, especially those just past the pimple stage, attending classical events is just not cool.

Recognizing that, some groups are making a concerted effort to tailor events to the tastes of young people. “We market our college- and high-school-age concerts as a kind of classy date night,” Ruggirello says.

“There are always gawky teen-age boys out there!” he says. “The idea of having enough savoir-faire to say, ‘Do you want to go down to the Music Center?’ is terrific.”

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Xavier advises parents not to be snobs when exposing youngsters to cultural events. “Children really like singing and dancing and hip-hop, things that are a little more flashy and up-tempo,” she says. “They see it on TV; they hear it on the radio.

“Introduce them to contemporary things” as well as more classical performances, she says. “Take them to something they’ll be more relaxed around, maybe something that they don’t have to dress up for.”

In fact, children exposed to the arts can have a variety of interests. Jason Rosen, 13, of Woodland Hills is a talented pianist who plays classical music. He has, according to his mother, Lisa Rosen, expressed minimal interest in seeing a live performance. Yet he has been to see the rock performer Huey Lewis and the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical “Starlight Express.”

“We try to find something he would be interested in and something that is appropriate, with limited adult language,” Lisa Rosen says. “I wouldn’t take him to see a heavy-metal group.”

Although just about anyone involved in the arts agrees that any exposure to the arts will open doors to a child’s imagination, they also agree that live performances are critical to the survival of the American theater tradition.

“I would hate to see a society where people stayed home all the time and watched TV,” Ruggirello says. “If you find the symphony boring, try opera, or the theater, or dance. Attendance at live cultural events is a valuable experience for everyone.”

What to Know Before You Go

Here are some guidelines to consider before taking children to a live theatrical performance.

* Begin exposing youngsters to the performing arts at an early age.

* Consider a child’s age, attention span and the content of a program before spending money on tickets.

* Look for special children’s programs.

* Prepare young ones for a performance by playing the music and telling them the story.

* Warn them to behave in the theater--to sit quietly, without talking, and to be considerate of others.

* Encourage them to applaud at the appropriate moments.

* Take them to the bathroom before the performance begins.

* Don’t insist that they sit through the performance if they become fidgety or begin acting up.

* Don’t insist that they attend a performance that they are not likely to enjoy.