It’s Been a Very Good Year--for Gossip

As 1994 comes to a close, once again your Social Climes reporters weary of being party animals and become reflective. We hang up our tuxes, evening gowns and black Lycra bodysuits, swear off mushroom polenta and micro - brewery beer and reminisce about our evenings out. Here are some of the highlights--and lowlights--of the year gone by. *

Best New Fund-Raiser: Face it, we’ve been warehoused in a gigantic hotel ballroom eating chicken with gelatinous gravy and listening to endless speeches just one time too many. That’s why we were so appreciative of the “Art of the Palate” dinners in October, 46 soirees held over two nights to benefit the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. They ranged from a party at the “Psycho” mansion at Universal Studios to a back-yard barbecue to an intimate formal dinner in a penthouse. The $200,000-plus raised allowed the museum to open again on Tuesdays. Event planners, are you taking notes?

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Best Line: Robin Williams guarantees absence of tedium for any black-tie banquet. Entertaining at the Weizmann Institute dinner at the Beverly Hilton in October , Williams played Dan Quayle as Forrest Gump. Said the faux Quayle , “Life is like a box of chocolates--you just have to buy it.”

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Most Idiotic Interview Question: “Grace, do you have any idea how the Simpson case will affect people in the entertainment industry?” a microphone-wielding reporter asked with penetrating intensity of rocker Grace Slick at the June premiere of “Forrest Gump.”

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Speaking of Gump: The cleverest party among the few still imprinted in our short-term memory is the Gump premiere, a bash involving shrimp, Ping-Pong, gospel and hordes of hugging and kissing rival studio executives, including Columbia-TriStar Pictures Chairman Mark Canton, whose wife, Wendy Finerman, produced the film for Paramount.

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Movie Star Philosophers: What could be a better time than Oscar night for sorting out the meaning of life, especially for those who didn’t win? In March at the Governors Ball, the Academy’s official bash, double nominee (but no Oscar) Emma Thompson said she wasn’t depressed. “I’m 34, I’m from England and I’m not stupid,” she said. Liam Neeson, also an empty-handed nominee, reflected on the awards evening at the party thrown by Vanity Fair and producer Steve Tisch. “It was great fun,” he said, “but now it’s back to reality. These clothes turn into rags in 10 minutes.”

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Compliment Nonpareil: “I love Ann Miller’s hair!” cried a guest at the premiere of “That’s Entertainment III” in April. “It looks like a fabulous black croissant.”

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Most Well-Behaved Audience: With Prince Charles attending the premiere of “Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein” last month, the locals were on their best behavior. They came early. They were seated as protocol dictates before His Royal Highness arrived. They sat quietly through every creeping inch of the credits. “It was the most sedate group I’d ever seen after a screening,” one woman said. “It was a combination of all that death and all that prince.”

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Then There’s Our Own Prince: At the first VH-1 Honors in June, there was discussion of how to address “the artist formerly known as Prince.” Ellen DeGeneres said she would call him “Formerly.” A member of his entourage said, “We call him ‘him.’ ”

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Forget New Year’s Eve: 1994 found Ash Wednesday to be a hot social night. On Feb. 16, there were hardly enough mega-stars to go around. Among the evening’s events was a 25th-anniversary screening--with Dustin Hoffman and Jon Voight--of “Midnight Cowboy” to celebrate the classic’s re-release. Simultaneously, the Laker wives premiered “Blue Chips” with a bunch more movie and sports stars, and Barbra Streisand was on hand for a reception preceding Christie’s auction of her castoff possessions.

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Like, Totally Connected: While we’ve pretty much gotten used to seeing people on cellular phones in their cars, at restaurants and at the grocery store, some still have the power to turn our heads--such as the guy we spotted phone-to-ear as he tossed out buckets of trash at a local recycling center.

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Hollywood Moment: Publicists at the party for the American Comedy Awards in March brazenly rearranged place settings so their clients would get better camera time by being seated next to someone more famous.

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Fashion Statements: At the September premiere of “Jason’s Lyric,” Pepa, of the rap group Salt ‘N’ Pepa, turned heads in a rubber, fuchsia and pink halter mini-dress. The outfit fits ultra skintight, which means body powder is required to slide it on. It also needs a special spray to gloss the rubber. “It’s a package deal,” Pepa said. “You get the dress, the powder and the spray--then you are ready! “

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Now, now: On the eve of the closing of the I. Magnin stores, at a party at the Pasadena store in November, a woman was heard to bitterly lament, “This is turning into a Third World Country. We’re all going to have to shop at Target.”

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Overheard: As she watched the talent agents mingle among the doctors at UCLA’s School of Medicine Aesculapians Ball in October, a guest said: “What they’ve got in common is, they both know where the jugular is.”

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Silent Auction ‘94: At the Los Angeles Police Department’s 125th-anniversary gala Oct. 6, a .38 Colt Detective Special was up for bid. It’s not often one sees a gun laid out on a table at a black-tie dinner. One officer wrote a note on a bar napkin saying: “Please do not remove pistol from display case.” This seemed like a good idea. With about a zillion cops standing close by, this was not the place to be waving a .38 around. It sold for $500.

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Press Release We Couldn’t Quite Finish: “Dozens of Marilyn Monroe and James Dean Look-Alikes to Descend on the joint opening of Rally’s Hamburgers Inc. double drive-through restaurant and the new Unocal 76 retail station in Lakewood. . . .”

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TV Syndication 101: At the 100th-episode party for NBC’s “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” in September, co-star Joseph Marcell explained it all. “Syndication means your ex-wife knows the check will be coming regularly. It means you can be dead, buried and forgotten and the checks keep on coming.”

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Hollywood Party 101: “I’m 50,” said actor Max Gail at the Museum of Television & Radio’s 11th festival in March. “I’ve got four kids. I see braces coming. I see college coming. I figure I better do some networking.”

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Most Outrageous Star Behavior: At the grand opening of the House of Blues in May, headliner James Brown was piqued when a scheduled press conference was late. With his formidable entourage in tow, he stormed out of the club and ended up buying boots at the nearby Paris Go store. Then Brown wanted to go on to dinner, but was persuaded to return to the club to do his gig.

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More Star Behavior: At the American Comedy Awards in March, hard hats were placed on each seat, apparently an earthquake-readiness party favor. According to the evening’s producer George Schlatter, Jack Nicholson left the party with four.

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Idea Most Worthy of a Ballot Initiative: “I want a six-month moratorium on black Lycra,” one woman said at the premiere of “Corrina, Corrina” in August. “This town needs it for its own sanity.”

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We Think We Know What He Meant: “There are more publicists than people here tonight,” said PR-adept Howard Bragman at the premiere of “The Mask” in July.

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New Blue: Allegra Yust likes tradition so much that this past summer, she took on the Los Angeles Blue Book, the hoary Society Register of Southern California, when its previous publisher retired. But Yust isn’t any stodgy blueblood, although her family’s been listed in the book for years. She’s 25, reads Wired magazine and goes to the Viper Room. Although we don’t think she’ll radically alter the nature of the register, we hope she’ll give it what it needs--an infusion of new names, representing current L.A. movers and shakers who will shape the city during the next millennium. You go, girl.

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Just Switch to Plastic, Please: “Earthquake registration.” Yes, we couldn’t help hearing those words as we were milling through the china and crystal department at Bullock’s in Century City not long after Jan. 17. Just like brides- and grooms-to-be, quake victims were logging their choices in the store’s computer, a saleswoman informed us brusquely, as if the whole thing were perfectly normal.

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Most Ubiquitous: What a year for O.J. Simpson attorney Robert Shapiro, and we don’t mean just in court. He and his wife, Linell, became omnipresent social animals. We knew we weren’t imagining seeing the dashing duo night after night on the party rounds when we overheard this, from an eye-rolling publicist, as the Shapiros emerged at a bash in November: “He goes to the opening of every (bleep)-ing door. He was even at the Stones concert.” *

Say What? We’re bewitched by what may be our favorite book title of 1994: “Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth” from Sparrowhawk Publications. We didn’t know truth was a radical concept. Is this a Hollywood thing?

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Could We Just Mail Our Check? “We are having a fund-raiser we think you might be interested in covering,” wrote the Barry Manilow Fan Club in November. “This weekend, members of our club from all over Southern California are getting together for the Barry-a-Thon. We will be watching Barry Manilow videos for 24 hours. . . .”

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Observed: What would be a year in the late 20th Century without Madonna sightings? At the premiere of “With Honors” in April, Madonna wore an outfit that suggested a harem dancer as seen by Vogue magazine: thick silver bracelets, a turquoise and magenta tight cropped top, bare midriff and a matching diaphanous silk skirt. “It was a Jasmine costume,” assured the mother of a 3-year-old “Aladdin” fan.

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Consider This Dissed: At the American Comedy Awards, unimpressed guest John Larroquette commented, “It’s one of the great award shows. Right up there with ‘The Jackson Family Honors.’ ”