Talk about displacement!Mayor Richard Riordan probably figured...

Talk about displacement!Mayor Richard Riordan probably figured he was above criticism the other day when he unveiled billboards that carry the phrase, “You Can Shake L.A. But You Can’t Break It,” superimposed over a map.

But several readers have raised the same question about his earthquake anniversary gesture: Why isn’t Northridge on the map? And why was hardly any space devoted to Santa Monica, which was also heavily damaged?

“We tried to get everything in,” a Riordan spokeswoman said. “We really did. But the city’s so big it just wasn’t possible. If we had shown the whole city on the billboard, it would have looked microscopic.”

Ironically, the map does clearly reflect an area that experienced a sizable jolt of unwanted publicity in the form of a double murder--Brentwood.

*

Squeezing the Orange: L.A.’s campaign prompted Paul Ecker of Diamond Bar to predict that a nearby county will soon come out with billboards that proclaim:

“You Can Shake Orange County Because We’re Already Broke.”

*

Nothing like a loving hug from a boa constrictor: In a local newspaper, Arlene Bernholtz of Calabasas found a day-care ad evidently directed at parents who want their tots to have a taste of the wildlife at an early age (see excerpt).

*

Luxuriating in the language: Aren’t commercials for luxury cars wonderful? The other day, we heard a pitch for “new or broken-in” Mercedes models--a choice we’d never heard worded in quite that way. Another ad touted a discounted Mercedes that had been “re-minted.”

Used Cadillacs, we’ve noticed, are often described as “pre-owned” or “cars for resale.”

Moving down a tier or two, we’ve also been hearing some curious ads for new cars that are characterized as “near luxury” models.

We suppose those are purchased by people who live in Beverly Hills Adjacent.

*

P.C. Watch (continued): Our mention of the sighting in West L.A. of an abbreviated theater marquee for “Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle”--it read, “Ms. Parker”--moves a colleague to wonder if the play “Miss Saigon” will be changed to “Ms. Saigon.” Or, more formally, “Ms. Ho Chi Minh City.”

*

Keep a hacksaw handy: Tom Collins of Granada Hills couldn’t help but question the quality of the contents of a box of frozen pizza that bore these directions:

“Serving suggestion--KEEP FROZEN.”

miscelLAny Whimsical Will Simpson, the wacky radio newscaster, sent us a set of regulations, titled “Dance Floor Etiquette,” for In Cahoots, a Glendale country music joint. Rule No. 5: “Never back up, go clockwise or suddenly stop in the fast lane.” Observes Simpson: “Too bad we don’t drive like we dance.”